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Nov. 16, 2023

Overcoming Fear and Embracing Vulnerability: A Journey to Empowerment with Souraya Christine

Overcoming Fear and Embracing Vulnerability: A Journey to Empowerment with Souraya Christine

Overcoming Fear and Embracing Vulnerability: A Journey to Empowerment with Souraya Christine    |  |      In this episode Souraya and I, talk about:   [00:02:06] Finding purpose through trauma. [00:21:51] Focus...

 

 

Overcoming Fear and Embracing Vulnerability: A Journey to Empowerment with Souraya Christine

 

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In this episode Souraya and I, talk about:

 

[00:02:06] Finding purpose through trauma.

[00:21:51] Focus on your life.

[00:27:46] Pursuing dreams and ambitions.

 

 

 

Transcript

 

 

 

Do you want more out of life? Are you ready to live boldly in pursuit of your dreams?

 

Today’s episode sponsor is Deneen L. Garrett LLC.  Deneen, Founder & CEO, is a Passionate, Innovative, Executioner (P.I.E.) who elevates the voices of women of color and empowers them to Live a Dream Lifestyle™ through podcasting, speaking and coaching.

 

Deneen is a Women’s Motivational Speaker, the Creator & Host of the Women of Color: An Intimate Conversation (formerly An Intimate Conversation with Women of Color) Podcast, which she launched in 2020 and a Dream Lifestyle Coach.

 

Deneen specializes in helping women of color who want more out of life live boldly to create a dream life.

 

Hire Deneen For: Speaking Engagements (In-Person & Virtual): Leadership Development | Empowerment Speaker | Fireside Chats | Keynotes | Panels | Workshops

 

Signature Talks:  How to Live a Dream Lifestyle™ | The Power in the Pause | Recognize Your Path and Rise Up! 

 

Hire Deneen to speak at your next event

 

 

 

 

About this episode

In the podcast episode, Souraya Christine, Speaker, Consultant, Coach, Author, emphasizes the significance of forgiveness for women of color in order to tap into their power and voice. She acknowledges that women of color often carry a lot of baggage and pain from past experiences, and that holding onto this resentment and un-forgiveness can hinder their growth and empowerment.

 

Souraya suggests that the first action women of color can take is to show love and grace to themselves and forgive themselves for any mistakes or shortcomings they may perceive. She emphasizes the importance of letting go of self-blame and self-criticism, as these negative emotions can hold women back from realizing their full potential.

Furthermore, Souraya encourages women of color to forgive those who may have caused them harm in the past. She acknowledges that forgiving others can be challenging, especially when the pain inflicted was significant. However, she emphasizes that holding onto this anger and resentment only serves to weigh women down and prevent them from moving forward.

 

By practicing forgiveness, women of color can release the emotional burdens they carry and create space for personal growth and empowerment. The act of forgiveness allows them to reclaim their power and voice, as it frees them from the chains of the past and enables them to focus on their present and future.

 

 

Create

Finding purpose through trauma.

Souraya: “I spent a lot of time in trauma growing and needed to figure out who I really was in the midst of all of that. I had an intimate experience with God who told me it's not about me and that spurred something different inside of me. I realized I'm a survivor for a reason. God allows me to be the person who speaks life into other people and helps people to heal.”

 

Focus on your life.

Souraya:  "We're trying to be all the things to all the people that we lose parts of ourselves and we lose sight of ourselves and our own health. And so we end up suffering from mental health issues, physical health issues, because of all the stress that we're enduring and continuing to endure without taking a break and taking a pause to kind of recharge and rejuvenate ourselves. We have to be selfish sometimes with ourselves. We have to learn how to say, no, we cannot take on every single thing.”

 

Pursuing dreams and ambitions.

Souraya:  "I used to dream about owning a phlebotomy school. I've been doing phlebotomy since I was 19. I actually did get to realize that dream. It just wasn't fully successful because I wasn't able to finish getting full licensing. So I did technically realize the dream.”

 

 

Memorable Quotes

00:03:30 - "But at the core, I'm just a person who is being used by God to help other people understand that they can make it through."

00:15:35 - "But despite whatever fear it is that you're feeling, move forward anyway."

00:23:23 - "Your car cannot run continuously without putting gas in it or charging it up or whatever these electric cars do without stopping at some point and making those things happen without refueling it in some way."

 

About Souraya Christine

Souraya is a Lady Influencing Life Altering Change…a L.I.L.A.C! She is an author, non-profit founder, motivational speaker, life coach, ministry group leader, mother, and encourager. Her goal is to empower people to realize their greatness by releasing the stigma of past hurts and hang-ups. So oftentimes people, especially black people, remain yoked to previous painful experiences, even those we did not personally experience, thus taking on the generational trauma and stigma that is attached. Souraya has purposed herself, since walking through her own healing journey, to assist as many others as possible through their journeys as well. She has consistently done this through her books, hosting and speaking at conferences around the country, participating in panel discussions, one-on-one and group coaching, being a community staple for resources, and a listening ear for those seeking emotional refuge.

 

Recently, Souraya has turned her heart toward consulting with businesses on how best to place value on mental health and self-care in the workplace. She assists them with developing and implementing programs, incorporating daily or weekly activities, and she provides ongoing support through workshops and coaching. Without limit to traditional business models, she also works with sororities, nonprofits, veteran’s groups, and law enforcement.

 

Through her nonprofit, L.I.L.A.C. – Ladies Influencing Life Altering Change, a 501(c)(3), she also partners with schools, other nonprofits, and community organizations to enhance the quality of mental health and general well-being. Hailing from a background of 29 years in healthcare and struggling through her own past hurts and subsequent mental health challenges, she is passionate about giving back, reaching back, and teaching others how to stop looking back!

 

As a “fixer”, Souraya’s challenge is to refrain from the inherent desire to simply “fix” someone’s problems. She believes that fixing something for someone doesn’t empower them at all. In fact, quite the opposite is true. Creating life-altering change requires a shift in mindset, not situation. She understands that moving away, starting a new job or a new relationship, will not solve the issue that resides in your mind. To this end, creating change from the inside is the necessary and rewarding path to follow.

 

Souraya believes that the best way to inspire others is through the testimony of lived experience. It is in this that she champions her ability to connect with those she coaches. This gives her a deeper understanding of her clients’ needs and fosters trust and transparency within the relationship.

 

Connect with Souraya:

Website: https://www.sourayachristine.com

Email: sourayaspeaks@sourayachristine.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/sourayaspeaks?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/souraya.christine?mibextid=LQQJ4d

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sourayaspeaks

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Souraya-Christine/author/B007MSCD08?ref=ap_rdr&store_ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true

 

 

 

Other Episodes to Check out

 

 

 

About the Podcast

 

Women of Color: An Intimate Conversation (An Intimate Conversation with Women of Color) is a podcast about women empowerment stories and for Women of Color who want more out of life. This show is for women who have had enough and want change, especially those who have been waiting to choose themselves and live boldly. 

 

In each inspiring episode, hear from women from different backgrounds, countries, and ages who have embarked on personal journeys, sharing their stories of empowerment, overcoming, and their path to living a dream life (style).

  

My Podcast Coaching Journey: 

 

 

 

Deneen is committed to elevating the voices of WOC and empowering them to Live a Dream Lifestyle™ NOW! 

 

Contact Deneen for coaching.

Transcript

Deneen L. Garrett: 00:10 - 01:50 Thank you for joining Women of Color, an intimate conversation, formerly an intimate conversation with women of color. This is a podcast about women empowerment stories and for women of color and LGBTQ plus women of color who want more out of life. This show is for women who have had enough and want change, especially those who have been waiting to choose themselves and to live boldly. In each inspiring episode, hear from women from different backgrounds, countries, and ages who have embarked on personal journeys, sharing their stories of empowerment, overcoming, and their path to living a dream lifestyle. I'm your host, Deneen L. Garrett, and I'm committed to elevating the voices of women of color and empowering them to live a dream lifestyle now. I'm also a women's empowerment speaker and a dream lifestyle coach. So sit back or keep it moving and check out today's episode. This week's guest is Soraya Christine, a lady influencing life altering change, a lilac. She is an author, nonprofit founder, motivational speaker, life coach, ministry group leader, mother, and encourager. Soraya, tell us more about you.
Souraya Christine: 01:52 - 03:42 Oh, goodness. That was a quick little snippet. Um, we could be here all day. Thank you for having me. Let me say that first and foremost. Thank you very much for, um, allowing me to be a guest today. And gosh, so all of this, who I am started from me trying to figure out why I had been through so much. And so it just continues to evolve. I spent a lot of time in trauma, um, growing up and then I needed to figure out who I really was in the midst of all of that. And so, um, I had an intimate experience with God on that journey and he told me that it's not about me and that, um, kind of spurred something different inside of me. And from there. I realized that, you know, I'm a survivor for a reason. So that's who I am in my core. Um, I, I believe that I'm one of his strongest soldiers because I've survived quite a bit. And so in that, he allows me to be the person who speaks, you know, life into other people and helps people to heal, um, and helps just listen sometimes to what people need to say and get off of their chest. And so that's who I am, honestly. Yes, I have a lot of titles. Yes, I'm a minister. I'm actually an ordained pastor. Yes, I'm a life coach. Yes, I'm a published author. I have a master's degree in management and leadership. So many things, right? But at the core, I'm just a person who is being used by God to help other people understand that they can make it through. That's really it. That's kind of who I am.

Deneen L. Garrett: 03:43 - 04:16 Right, right. No, what a beautiful, a beautiful person to be, right? A beautiful person to go ahead and say yes to who you were created to be, right? Because not everybody does that. Not everybody is even aware of what they're supposed to be doing. So for you to be aware and then to say yes to it means a lot. And so you exist for others, right? So share with us. ways you empower people to realize their greatness by releasing the stigma of past hurts and hangups?

Souraya Christine: 04:16 - 07:49 Well, I mean, honestly, it's different with everybody. It really depends on what the person themselves is going through. One of the things that is going to sound really weird for me to say is that I'm appreciative of all of the different experiences that God has allowed me to endure. only because they allow me to connect with just about everybody. Like I literally can truly from my heart say, I understand when I'm talking to people for the most part, because I truly can't because I've already been there. And so, you know, that's, it was a curse, you know, to me at some point, but it's very much a blessing. And on this side of things and being able to, um, to kind of help people navigate their issues. So it really depends on the person, you know, um, even just last night, as a matter of fact, let's just start there. Last night I was talking to a lady who I barely know, you know, personally, we know each other through social media mostly and have interacted maybe a couple of times in the community. And I ended up on the phone with her last night and she was just kind of, you know, unloading her the things that she had been dealing with that have been heavy on her. And then she stopped and she paused and she was like, I don't even know why I'm telling you all this. I don't even know you. And I'm like, I know I have that effect on people. But it's so funny, you know, and it makes me laugh, but it's very true. You know, I've had so many people over the years tell me literally the exact same thing. And honestly, even when I was in my mess, even when I was still unhealed and still angry and still just out here bogged down with all of that. Even in that people still would gravitate to me and literally just tell me their whole life story. Wow. Okay. You know, and so it's just a gift. I believe that God gave me, um, not that I even have to ever say anything, but people, I remember being a teenager, angry, messed up teenager, sitting on a bus and somebody came and sat next to me and looked at me and literally I knew their entire life story by the time we got off the bus. And so. That sort of thing has always been who I am. And I don't know if that spurs from, I think that also actually is a blessing and a curse because I'm a fixer by nature. So I want to help people fix their issues, right? If you, I'm even the type of leader, like in management and different things like that. If you bring me a problem, don't expect me to sit there and pity party with you. let's find a solution. Right. So that's really, um, that has always been who I am. And so even in like the community and things like that, not that I'm not a great listener because I am, and I'm very overly compassionate, but at the end of the day, let's find a fix. Let's fix the problem. But that also opens me up to, you know, more broken people. So even more on intimate relationships and things like that, Because I have fixer written across my forehead, the broken people. You're attracting. Broken people. Yeah. They see it because it's like neon lights flashing, you know, and so they see it and they come. And that has caused me some issues along the way as well. And so, you know, at the end of the day, just to answer your question, it really depends on the person. Everybody's journey is different. And so the way that I approach, however, I help people is also different.

Deneen L. Garrett: 07:49 - 08:36 Yeah, no, definitely. And so with what you just shared, as far as what you're attracting, you know, it being a curse and a blessing, as far as with personal relationships, have you or do you have your own coach? Or do you, do you have a therapist? Have you been to therapy? Because I think that that's sometimes parts or you know what's missing when people are doing this work right you're doing this work for other people, but you have to balance balance it and you do need yourself first. So if you're not, then that's definitely something you, you know, you may want to consider because you don't want to constantly keep receiving, receiving, receiving, right. And you're being depleted. Um, yeah, you want to kind of set out.

Souraya Christine: 08:36 - 09:21 Oh, don't I know it. So yeah, I've gone through that side of it as well. And yes, I have done that. I'm not actively in therapy right now because even the last therapist that I had, it was the same thing. And this happens all the time. She, she was like, my best friend, I ended up being more so her therapist. This is this is crazy. So so I have done therapy. I have thankfully some of my friends are also in the coaching space. So I'm able to bounce things off of them in a safe space. Yeah. So I've dealt with that. I've dealt with who I am at my core as a fixer. So I am good, thankfully, now with the intimate spaces of attracting that brokenness.

Deneen L. Garrett: 09:21 - 10:27 Good. And I, you know, and I really wanted to point that out not just for you. Also for our listeners right to know that you could be in doing these type of things. But don't do it alone. Have a tribe. Have your board of directors, your supporters, your people who you can go. And like you said, you're bouncing things off of one another. It's not meant for us to go and be alone. And as Black women in particular, we often do. We take everything on. We're attracted to all these different things. We want to fix everything. And then next thing you know, we look up and we're ragged. That's so true. And so you've already talked about how, you know, your past and things that you've gone through, getting you struggled through your own past hurts and mental health challenges, and your passion about giving back, reaching back and teaching others how to stop looking back. What has been your greatest accomplishment doing this work?

Souraya Christine: 10:27 - 13:46 Interesting. That is a great question. You know, I'd have to say two really small things come to my mind, but they were huge things to me. So when my first book came out, way back when, gosh, what year is this? 2023, I think it was published in 2011, I want to say, or 12. And I did a book tour across the East Coast. And when I got back home, because I live in Nevada, when I got back home, I got an email from a young lady who was like 27 or something like that. And her email just went on to thank me for my book and talk about, you know, how easy of a read it was and all that. But ultimately she stated that my book helped her to cope with the breast cancer that she was currently at that time going through. And she was struggling. trying to figure out how to cope with, you know, having this issue at such a young age and a mom and like all these things. And personally, I've never experienced cancer. Like that's the one thing I can say that I've like, I don't have that personal, like personal firsthand experience with. And, um, so that to me was huge because that showed me that was my first aha moment of what God told me about it, not being about me. And so I was just like floored. Like I couldn't stop crying when I got that email. So that was the first. And then the other one, and there've been many little things along the way, but other one that really sticks out to me actually just happened this past week. So I started, um, a conference tour for women recently called women in leadership. And we're going through multiple different cities. The very first one was this past Wednesday in the Baltimore area. And there weren't like a tremendous amount of people in the audience, but it was, you know, it was a decent amount. And so I was, um, not really frustrated about that, but, um, but even still, when you throw an event, you want it to be packed out, you know, so when it's not, you feel some kind of way. Well, one of the ladies at the end, because I did kind of like a Q and a session at the end and the opportunity for them to get feedback being that it was the first one. And so even prior to that, this lady came up to me and she just kind of whispered in my ear and said, this was amazing. She's never been to an event like this. This was incredible. She wants to attend more events like this. And this was exactly what she needed. And she's so glad that she didn't talk herself out of coming like she initially was attempting to do like so many of us do sometimes. And just that sort of thing. So it just brought tears to my eyes. and reminded me that I'm doing the right thing, that I'm on the right track, that this is exactly what God has me to do because there is that one person that needed to hear something that was said. And so those are the two most powerful, very small things that stand out to me in this journey that I've been on for many years now.

Deneen L. Garrett: 13:47 - 14:08 No, and you know what? And there are two things that definitely support what you're doing, right? It's reminders or proof or confirmation that you are on the right path, right? You are doing what you were assigned to do. So, it's always a great thing when we get that type of feedback. And by the way, I lived in Vegas for four years. I actually lived in London.

Souraya Christine: 14:09 - 14:11 Wow, how cool.

Deneen L. Garrett: 14:11 - 14:30 Yeah, no, I know. So this, this podcast is about empowering women of color in elevating their voices. Based off of your experience, what three actions can women of color take to tap into their power and voice?

Souraya Christine: 14:30 - 17:46 Gosh, I would say one Um, forgiveness, um, that's going to be key because a lot of times we, as women of color, especially we carry so much on the inside, um, things that we've dealt with from early on in life. And we hold on to that and we hold on to not forgiving whomever may have caused us harm, but also ourselves. And so I would say that would be the first thing, you know, show some love and some grace to yourself, forgive yourself, forgive whomever may have caused you pain in the past, because holding onto that is not going to serve you in any way. After that, I would say, regardless of whatever fear you may feel, you know, and we suffer from different things. You know, one of the biggest ones for me initially was fear of rejection. And I think a lot of people share in that. And so despite the fear of rejection, despite the fear of failure, despite even sometimes the fear of success, it's so weird that we have that. But despite whatever fear it is that you're feeling, move forward anyway. Let your voice be heard anyway. If there is something down on the inside of you that is begging, screaming, crying, crying to get out, let it out, you know, because life is too short to live in fear. It's going to be gone before we know it. And we're here for a purpose. And if you keep that purpose to yourself, then what was the purpose, you know? So we need to, um, just kind of feel the fear and do it anyway. You know, I, I saw something, I can't remember if it was a TV show or what it was. I don't remember what it was. Um, but it was like, just count down really quick and just do it, you know, whatever that do it is, whatever the It is, you know, if it's hitting, hitting, you know, go on, hitting live on your website or hitting live on your IG live, you know, or whatever it is to put the information out there. Five, four, three, two, one, go, just do it, you know? So despite whatever the fear is, just do it. And third, let's see. Prayer, I would say pray, you know, pray, and that probably should be first actually pray. Um, if you're a spiritual person, if you have a connection with God, pray and ask for guidance, um, on what it is that you should be doing and who it is that you should be talking to and what that looks like and allow him to direct you. And I would say, if you're not a person who believes in God, you know, then tap into whatever it is that drives you meditate or whatever that looks like, but tap into something higher than yourself. so that, you know, you don't hold your own self back and that you can really tap into a power source that is going to keep you running. Because honestly, if you think about, you know, your, your laptop, for instance, it's going to run for a little while without being plugged in, but eventually it's going to die. It's going to run out of power. And so you have to have it plugged into a power source and it's going to be the same thing for you. That's it.

Deneen L. Garrett: 17:46 - 19:10 Yeah. And you know what that, that part about going ahead and pushing live on your website is pretty much the approach that I took with my podcast. So back in 2020, I'm like, yeah, you know, I want to do a podcast, but I was hesitant and I wasn't quite sure why. And so two things happened. One, I was speaking to a coach and he said to me, he's like, you and I can say the same thing to the same audience. However, when it comes from you, it'll resonate. So in other words, people want to hear your voice. Yes. Right. And then I started reading a book by Brene Brown. I think it was Daring Greatly and like the first thing the caption at the top was about vulnerability. And I'm like, oh, that's what it is. I'm fearful, you know, of that vulnerability of it not looking a certain way, it not being polished. And so the thing about it is, and what I've learned throughout my journey is that it's not intended for everything to just happen, you know, to be picture perfect, because what's the story in that? What's the testimony? How do you teach someone to duplicate something that just happens, right? And so, um, I recognize all of that. And so the very next day, which was good Friday of 2020, I Nike'd it and launched my podcast.

Souraya Christine: 19:10 - 21:24 And so we are 2020. I love it. You know, when you said something about vulnerability and even on the other side of that, um, That was initially me. So I told you when I first started this journey, you know, it was me trying to figure out how to heal myself. from all the things, right? And in that I had been journaling. I had been journaling for years up until that point, trying to figure it out and trying to get all of the stuff up out of me. And I was, you know, kind of slowly doing it. When I was done, I ultimately had like a thick old manuscript and God told me to publish it. And I was like, what? Publish what? Yeah, I'm not doing that. I was like, no. I said, this is all my personal, like, all my stuff. I'm not getting ready to publish. Yeah, right. And he was like, oh, yes, you are. And I was like, um, no, I'm not. I don't even know how to publish. You should have heard this. I literally had this argument. I'm like, I don't even know how to publish a book. I don't know no publishers. And I'm just going on like, I'm just like, literally, he's standing in front of me. And he said, oh, OK. And when I tell you he literally dropped a publisher in my lap, I said, Oh, you ain't playing. Okay. Okay. Yes, sir. That's just kind of how, you know, and so that's how that, so I understand this, the vulnerability side of it from that aspect too, of just like, you know, not wanting, and I think that's a lot of times what we suffer from. It's like, we don't want to be seen, right. We don't want people to see all of our flaws or see all of our mistakes and our mess ups and our, you know, the, the, the poor thinking sometimes and the bad decision making and all the things. And we don't, that's why, you know, social media is so fluffy because we want everybody to see the great, the good, you know, we want everybody to see the filters, but not too many people want, you know, to be seen behind the filter. And so for me, that was a behind the filter moment, you know, and I was just like, wow, you know, that took a lot. And so now, I, you know, not that I enjoy telling my story, but I mean, I enjoy telling it in the sense of, I know somebody's gonna receive some sort of power from it, you know?

Deneen L. Garrett: 21:24 - 21:49 And so, you know what, as often as black women and other women of color, we do a lot, even too much, right? We do. And we don't always prioritize self and self-care. I just recently took a pause in the way of a two-month social media break. Talk to us about the importance of taking time for ourselves and the power in the pause.

Souraya Christine: 21:49 - 21:50 Gee willikers.

Deneen L. Garrett: 21:50 - 21:51 Yes, indeed.

Souraya Christine: 21:51 - 25:21 There is definitely power in the pause. And so some of the things that I teach you, and in fact, as part of this conference tour is dedicated to self-care, for that reason. And I think we get so caught up in all of the things, like you said, that we're doing and we're trying to be all the things to all the people that we lose parts of ourselves and we lose sight of ourselves and our own health. And so we end up suffering from, you know, mental health issues, physical health issues, because of all the stress that we're enduring and continuing to endure without taking a break and taking a pause to kind of recharge and rejuvenate ourselves. I am grateful that the conversation is happening more today about self-care and that more people are starting to see the value in taking care of yourself. So that to me is an amazing thing and I want to see that continue to grow. But one of the things that I teach people all the time is that you have to be selfish and We have put so much negative connotation on the word selfish that we look at it now, that word, and turn up our nose. And the reality is it's not a bad word. We have to be selfish sometimes with ourselves. We have to learn how to say, no, we cannot take on every single thing, even though it sounds amazing. I trust me that I know personally, I had to write a whole book about that just for my own self, you know? And so you have to understand that you cannot. continue to run. Again, another analogy, your car cannot run continuously without putting gas in it or charging it up or whatever these electric cars do without stopping at some point and making those things happen without refueling it in some way. And it's the same thing for you. You know, eventually your body is going to start manifesting, you know, the problems with you lacking rest. It's going to look like, you know, and insomnia is going to look like migraines. It's going to look like achy, um, joints and muscles. It's going to look like, you know, worse things sometimes, you know, where you're going to start having other kinds of problems in the, the diabetes and the fibroids and the, um, you know, strokes sometimes in the heart attacks, you know, and the anxiety attacks, like all of the things that come, um, because your body is trying to figure out how to handle the stress that you have put it under. And so, you know, and then the depression says, you know, there's so many things that happen and sometimes they happen without us even realize that they're happening until now it's too late. The autoimmune disorders, all kinds of things that come from carrying so much stress. And so it is very, very, very imperative that you do pause, that you do take time for yourself. Even if it's, you know, start off once a month, by taking a weekend and doing something special for yourself or to just get away unplugged from everything and everybody. Because guess what? That thing, that business, that job that is still going to be there the next day, I promise you. However, if something happens to you and you can't move forward because your body decided to work against you at this point, well, guess what? Your job is going to fill your position the next day. I promise you that.

Deneen L. Garrett: 25:22 - 26:04 Oh, and you know, and I'm up here thinking about how I worked with this woman who at the time she met she had 40 plus years with the company. And she died at work. See, it went on work went on. Yep. You know, and so that's why me now my focus is on living a dream lifestyle, which we'll get into a moment, but I wanted to you know, talk about Dreams Deferred. So I honor my late sister, author and poet, Soul True, by asking Dreams Deferred, which is the title of one of her books. Please share a Dreams Deferred moment.

Souraya Christine: 26:04 - 26:31 Ooh. I still have a couple of deferred dreams. It's so funny that you say that because I actually just posted about this the other day. And I'm very grateful that I'm getting to live out my dreams. Different things. One of them. So, earlier this year, so there's a new problem. You're probably familiar with this being that you lived here. There's a black film festival that happens out here every year.

Deneen L. Garrett: 26:31 - 26:36 No, I don't need I didn't even know what I mean, going on years now.

Souraya Christine: 26:36 - 29:22 Yeah. Yeah. Years. And so, well, I kind of last minute found out about the fact that they do. an acting competition during the Black Film Festival where the panel is like full of, you know, producers and like, you know, people who are in that industry. And so I like literally jumped into it last minute because one of my dreams has always been to be an actor. And I just never really had the opportunity to make that happen. And so I was like, I'm going to enter this competition. And so I entered this competition, mind you, with no preparation. It was truly last minute. I didn't even know what the qualification, like what you had to do in order to be in the competition. So I get to the competition, not knowing the rules. Mind you, I'm supposed to have had two monologues ready. I had nothing because I had no idea. what the requirements were. Nobody had ever told me what the requirements were. So I had to hurry up and learn two monologues. Thankfully I had gotten there early. So I had to learn two monologues literally right before the competition. And so, but I stayed, I didn't leave, I didn't back out. I stayed and I answered that, you know, I jumped in the competition and although I didn't win, I still got some really decent feedback. And so that to me was one. So that's one, I still want to be an actor. At some point, I still want to at least act in something. Let's say it that way. Okay. Um, and then, um, there is still, um, a show podcast. I'm not sure which way I want to, you know, want it to go yet, but there is still one other, some form of a show that I want to produce and put out there. So those are my two bigger ones. Pretty much everything else has been realized. Like I used to dream about owning a phlebotomy school. I've been doing phlebotomy since I was 19. And I, um, I actually did get to realize that dream. It just didn't. Um, what is the word? It just wasn't fully successful because I wasn't able to finish getting full licensing. Okay. And so, but I did at least realize the dream, like it, it, uh, was provisional. And so I was able to work for a little while in that. So I did technically realize the dream. It just didn't, it just didn't move forward. Um, you know, in the books and all of those other things, uh, I've been, um, on TV and in papers and done all of all the different things. And so for the most part, I'm getting to live my dreams. This conference tour is a dream. And I'm grateful, you know, that God has allowed me to live my dreams. So. There's still a few more steps, you know, a few more things, um, you know, when, when it's the right time, it'll happen.

Deneen L. Garrett: 29:22 - 29:47 Yeah, absolutely. And actually some, you know, some of what you're doing, you could just leverage that for that show that you're thinking about, you know what I'm saying? Um, so you, you know, you're, you already said you're living your dream life. Um, and I empower women of color to live a dream lifestyle. And so again, you're saying you're living your dream life. Um, what are some other components of your dream life?

Souraya Christine: 29:47 - 31:40 I, I would say I'm getting there. Let's say that I'm getting there. Um, baby steps, I guess I would say right now I, you know, like all the tangibles, like I live in a really, really nice house, not my dream house, but it's a nice house. Um, probably the best one I've had so far. Um, You know just different things like that I don't have my dream car or anything like that, but I am driving cars, so you know that still to me is a blessing. I get to help people every single day between my career, so my actual career is in finance, so I help people with. um, building wealth for their future and life insurance and stuff like that. So that to me is incredible because it's stuff that we didn't learn in the hood growing up in the hood. We didn't learn about this kind of stuff. And so being able to learn it and teach it now is incredible. So I would say that that allows me to be living my dream. And I think I had to take a pause, uh, probably about two weeks ago and look at where all the things that God has allowed me to do in that it allows me to help like the total person. So. in the, you know, with the books and with becoming a minister, I can help people spiritually as a life coach. I help people, you know, emotionally, and now I'm able to help people financially. And so the last piece of that puzzle is going to be physically. And so that's something that I'm working on or getting ready to start working on for myself so that I can get myself there so that I can turn around and help other people. And then I will be able to say wholeheartedly that God has allowed me to truly help the total person, you know, in all of the aspects of who we are as, as human beings. And so, yeah, I mean, that's really it. I just, I think living the dream looks different for everybody. Yeah, it absolutely does.

Deneen L. Garrett: 31:40 - 32:26 Yes. And that's the thing is, and it's for us to take the time to, you know, to dream about the life that we want. And so for me, like when I am coaching or. I have like a three-step process is dream. Then it's decide slash three plus slash design and then drive towards that. And so personally, my like number one component is travel. So that is like the number one component of my dream lifestyle. And, you know, and it's first and foremost, it's a priority. I actually am, you know, you mentioned the film festival. I'm actually going to the Montreal film festival, black, what tomorrow. And so I had to like, uh, yeah, I got to move around some of these recordings because that's priority for me. Travel is a priority.

Souraya Christine: 32:26 - 32:31 Yeah. And I forgot to mention that, but that's one of my priorities too.

Deneen L. Garrett: 32:31 - 33:10 Yep. And then I'm also, for me, I'm back in the dream phase, um, of my lifestyle. Right. And like you said, like, Oh, I don't this, that it's, it's a continuum, right. It's, um, it constantly evolves. Um, so, you're, you know, you're, you're in it, you're working towards it. Um, so definitely give yourself grace there to know that. Right. Um, and then, like you said, um, the cars and house that's just come parts of it. Right. Um, but it's, it's overall, how do you, how do you want to live life? Right. And the other things are just extras. So before we close, what would you like to leave the audience with?

Souraya Christine: 33:10 - 34:40 Hmm. Um, well, you said something earlier that was key. You said that you, you know, you kind of took a piece of, of Nike's, um, motto and that would just be it. Honestly, just do it. You guys like whatever your it is again, like I said earlier, life is too short. And I know that you've heard it before. It's just a dash, right? That dash between that, that birth date and that death date, whatever that is. And none of us know when, where or how. And so with that being said, you don't have time to waste, you know, You don't have time to wonder. You don't have time to self-doubt. You don't have time to allow those things to hinder you from realizing whatever your dream is. And so whatever that thing is, and make it big, right? Your dream shouldn't scare you. But there is nothing impossible in this world. There is nothing impossible out there. All things can be realized. I'm sure that the things that we're looking at today, somebody thought was impossible at some point. Right? And so whatever it is, whatever it is, just do it. Just take the first step. That's all it takes. Start somewhere, write it down. The Bible says, write the vision and make it plain. That's the first part of the scripture anyway. So start there, right? Like write the vision, make it plain so that it's on paper. You can see it. You can look at it every day and then you can start to take the steps that it, you know, that it takes to get you to that goal. And that's really it.

Deneen L. Garrett: 34:41 - 35:51 Absolutely. And, you know, and with that focus on where you want to get to, as opposed to so much on the how. When we focus on the how, we put ourself in the box. And I learned that in corporate, you know, years ago, I'm like, Oh, I want to be a director. And it was like, okay, why? Like, what do you, what do you want the work that you're doing to look like? And so when I started looking at that, I'm like, Oh, let me focus on that. And then however I get to that is, is how I get to that. And even now, like, I'm like, okay, God, you know, I want to do X, Y, Z, I'm attracted to manifest in this than the other. And I'm like, and I'm open to how you get me there. Um, I do have some suggestions about how that can come about. However, I'm open to what you say, you know what I'm saying? And so that's what we definitely have to do is really focus on the life that you want to live, the things that you want in your life, et cetera. but the how, leave that kind of open, right? And make sure that you are keeping it open to see that, oh, okay, instead of me going down that particular street, which is where I was headed, oh, you want me to take a right? Okay, cool. Right? And take that right. So.

Souraya Christine: 35:51 - 35:53 Yep. Yep. That's so good.

Deneen L. Garrett: 35:53 - 36:02 Absolutely. So Soraya, Christine, I thank you so much for lending your voice to women of color in intimate conversation and enjoy the rest of your day.

Souraya Christine: 36:03 - 36:06 Thank you, love. You too. Thanks again for having me.

Deneen L. Garrett: 36:06 - 37:07 My absolute pleasure. Thank you for listening to today's episode of Women of Color, An Intimate Conversation. Let me know your thoughts. Send me an email at danine at daninelgarrett.com or tweet about it at daninelgarrett. My goal is to impact the lives of millions of women of color. And in order to do so, I need to reach them. And that's where you come in. Please subscribe if you haven't already done so and share the episodes. And again, let me hear from you. I'm your host, Deneen L. Garrett. I'm also a Women's Empowerment Speaker and a Dream Lifestyle Coach. Check out my website DeneenLGarrett.com and until next time have a fabulous week.

Souraya ChristineProfile Photo

Souraya Christine

Certified Life Coach/Author/Speaker/Mom/Grammy

Souraya is a Lady Influencing Life Altering Change…a L.I.L.A.C! She is an author, non-profit founder, motivational speaker, life coach, ministry group leader, mother, and encourager. Her goal is to empower people to realize their greatness by releasing the stigma of past hurts and hang-ups. So oftentimes people, especially black people, remain yoked to previous painful experiences, even those we did not personally experience, thus taking on the generational trauma and stigma that is attached. Souraya has purposed herself, since walking through her own healing journey, to assist as many others as possible through their journeys as well. She has consistently done this through her books, hosting and speaking at conferences around the country, participating in panel discussions, one-on-one and group coaching, being a community staple for resources, and a listening ear for those seeking emotional refuge.

Recently, Souraya has turned her heart toward consulting with businesses on how best to place value on mental health and self-care in the workplace. She assists them with developing and implementing programs, incorporating daily or weekly activities, and she provides ongoing support through workshops and coaching. Without limit to traditional business models, she also works with sororities, nonprofits, veteran’s groups, and law enforcement.

Through her nonprofit, L.I.L.A.C. – Ladies Influencing Life Altering Change, a 501(c)(3), she also partners with schools, other nonprofits, and community organizations to enhance the quality of mental health and general we… Read More