How to Stop Living for Others and Start Choosing Yourself - Supre Gupta. What happens when you spend years making everyone else happy but forget what makes you happy? In this Women of Color Live conversation, Supre Gupta, a licensed associate marriage and family therapist, shares why women often put their own needs last and how they can begin to change. After leaving a successful career in technology to follow her purpose, Supre learned the importance of living for herself.
- Many women grow up believing that being a good daughter, wife, mother, or partner means keeping everyone else happy. Over time, these expectations can become so familiar that putting yourself first feels wrong. Supre Gupta explains how cultural conditioning can teach women to stay quiet, avoid conflict, and accept roles they never chose for themselves. In this conversation, she shares why it is important to question these patterns and understand that caring for your family does not mean giving up your own identity, dreams, or happiness.
- Saying yes when you want to say no can slowly leave you feeling tired, unhappy, and disconnected from yourself. Supre discusses how the pressure to be agreeable can affect relationships, confidence, and emotional well-being. She explains why becoming bold is not about fighting with everyone or forcing others to change. It is about learning to speak honestly, respect your own needs, and stop allowing other people's opinions to control your choices. You can respect your culture and loved ones while still deciding what is right for your own life.
- Family traditions and social expectations can shape how women think about marriage, parenting, work, and personal success. Supre explains how women may feel responsible for keeping peace in relationships, even when their own needs are being ignored. She talks about helping clients question these beliefs, recognize unhealthy relationship patterns, and build the courage to make choices that fit their lives. The discussion also touches on financial independence, emotional stability, trauma work, and finding purpose.
- You do not have to wait until your children grow up, your schedule becomes quiet, or everyone around you approves before making room for yourself. Supre shares why even five minutes of personal time can be a meaningful beginning. If you enjoy a cup of coffee, take a quiet moment, buy flowers, or explore an interest of your own, small choices can remind you that your life matters too. This conversation is an invitation to stop waiting for the perfect moment, trust your own voice, and build a life that includes your needs, goals, and happiness.
What you'll learn from this video:
- Understand why you may put other people's needs before your own and how to begin changing that habit.
- Learn to express your needs without feeling that you must always keep everyone happy.
- Recognize how family and social expectations can influence choices, identity, and relationships.
- Use small everyday decisions to reconnect with what you want and value.
Timestep:
- 4:30 Walking away from a secure tech career
- 10:15 Navigating midlife shifts and personal loss
- 18:45 What does Breaking Brown really mean?
- 25:10 Unlearning survival patterns and conditioning
- 38:00 Step into emotional freedom and power
- 42:15 Reclaiming your voice and bold identity
- 44:30 Final thoughts on choosing yourself
- 46:00 Podcast outro and wrap-up
⤷ Host: Deneen L. Garrett — Cultural Alchemist | Media Architect | Podcast Host
⤷ Deneen L. Garrett is the creator and host of Women of Color: An Intimate Conversation, bringing powerful conversations on visibility, leadership, wealth, and living a Dream Lifestyle™️ to Women of Color worldwide.
⤷ Women of Color: An Intimate Conversation is a Top 5% of 4M+ podcasts worldwide · YouTube U.S. Top 1% · Global Top 8.5% · 240K+ combined monthly reach. Every week, we go deeper into visibility, leadership, wealth, and living a Dream Lifestyle™️.
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