Wellness, Therapy and Attachment: How to Reclaim Yourself in Your Relationships
Maya Dajon, a relationship practitioner and EMDR therapist, explains how to tell whether you need wellness support or a therapist, why your attachment style is not permanent, and how accountability and honest communication carry reclamation into your relationships.
Key Takeaways
- Wellness support and therapy are different kinds of care. Maya suggests asking whether you can do your activities of daily living. If you cannot, seek a mental health clinician. If you can but feel overwhelmed, a wellness practitioner may help.
- The four attachment styles are secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganized. Your style is not permanent, and a breakup or loss can shift it.
- Knowing what brings you peace is the starting point for grounding. Peace looks different for everyone.
- If a therapist is not the right fit, interview others. One therapist not working does not mean therapy does not work.
- Accountability, asking for help, and saying what you need out loud help reclamation reach the people closest to you.
Wellness Support or Therapy?
Maya began in the wellness space, which offers freedom to focus on grounding, body awareness and behavioral health without a diagnosis. She later added clinical training as an EMDR therapist because some clients need trauma-focused care. Her test for knowing which you need is simple: can you get up, take care of yourself and engage with people? If those feel out of reach, that is when she suggests a mental health clinician. Maya also stresses that everyone does not need therapy, and that sometimes a higher level of care is needed and there is no shame in asking for it.
Understanding Your Attachment Style
Maya describes attachment as how you move through life, communicate and connect with others. Secure attachment looks grounded, with healthy boundaries and the ability to take feedback. Anxious attachment brings overthinking and constant worry about whether someone likes you. Avoidant attachment brings fear and detaching as someone gets close. Disorganized attachment is a mix, where you move toward someone and then pull back. Knowing your style helps you understand why you react as you do. It is also not permanent. Everyone gets triggered, and the goal is to notice it, ground yourself and return to your baseline.
Finding the Right Therapist
Maya explains that therapy is not one thing. Talk therapists offer dialogue and should help you challenge and deepen your thinking, while trauma-focused approaches such as EMDR, DBT and CBT work differently. She encourages you to use consultations to ask what a practitioner is trained in and whether you feel understood, and to start with your employee assistance program or insurance. If one therapist does not work, try another.
What Real Change Looks Like
In Maya's work, change shows up in how clients talk. They notice what their body is doing, use a tool such as box breathing, set a boundary and feel good about it, and shift from old goals to new ones.
Accountability and Communication
When Deneen asked for the one thing to do today, Maya answered accountability: look in the mirror, name what you want to work on, and ask whether you are the person you are asking for in a partner. Then ask for help, and communicate what you need instead of expecting anyone to read your mind. She encourages giving people the chance to meet your standards before deciding they are not aligned with you, and looking at a person's upbringing and culture instead of lumping people together.
Conclusion
Maya's closing message: love yourself as much as possible, prioritize your own peace and healing, and live for yourself and not for validation from others. Listen to the full episode to hear more.
FAQ
How do I know whether I need a therapist or a wellness practitioner?
Maya suggests asking whether you can do your daily activities, such as getting up, caring for yourself and being around people. If not, consider a mental health clinician. If you can but feel overwhelmed, a wellness practitioner may help.
Can my attachment style change?
Yes. Maya explains that attachment styles are not permanent. Events like a breakup or loss can shift them, and self-awareness helps you return to your baseline.
What if therapy did not work for me?
Maya says it only means it did not work with that therapist. Use consultations to ask about training and fit, and keep looking.
What is one thing I can do today?
Maya's answer is accountability, followed by asking for help and communicating what you need.
