Episode 200: You Don't Wait for Permission — You Become It | Kaila James

Deneen L. Garrett (0:01): What if the most powerful thing you can bring to a boardroom is exactly what they told you to leave at the door? Today, we are talking about what it means to lead with your whole self and build a legacy that brings the boardroom and the culture. If you are ready to build your legacy in real time, you are in the right place. Let's go. Hey.

Deneen L. Garrett (0:37): Hey. Hey. And welcome back to Women of Color LIVE, the live version of women of color in intimate conversation, a top 20 women's empowerment podcast. We center and empower women of color. We also have a community for black women 50, the Dream Lifestyle Collective.

Deneen L. Garrett (0:58): So I wanna shout out our production team at the Leon Thomas Group, and specifically, O, thank you for being on the ones and twos and keeping us together. Today's guest is Kayla James. She's a senior strategic global leader, cultural architect, and recording artist, which I did not know, who has spent over a decade driving large scale transformation and proving that powerful leadership centers culture. So today, this month, April, we're highlighting women who build legacy in real time. And before I welcome Kayla, make sure you all are engaging with us.

Danita Garrett (1:38): Let us know you're out there. Drop WOC in the comments. Drop Dreamer if you're part of the Dream Lifestyle Collective, and drop your questions because we wanna engage with you. Kayla, welcome to Women of Color LIVE.

Kaila James (1:51): Hello. I'm so happy to be here with you and all the ladies here today. So so excited to be a part of this.

Danita Garrett (1:59): Yeah. And I'm so excited to have you as well. And so we hey. Y'all who are watching, listening, if we forget ourselves for you know, forgive us because we're used to kicking it in person. So now we're doing it in front of you all.

Danita Garrett (2:13): So let's get into it, Kayla. Who were you before the title, before the credentials, before the build, and what was the decision that shifted how you saw yourself as someone built to lead?

Kaila James (2:29): Well, I think before the title, I was a natural leader and I don't think that because me self proclaiming that over myself, I think it was more so just the people around me tended to look to me for answers or to provide guidance. I was a bossy child. From what I remember, I grew up around a lot of adults. So because of that, I think there's just a level of confidence that came with being around older people the way I spoke, way I showed up in the room. As I continue to grow, just leaned into that.

Kayla James (3:07): It just naturally began to happen in the different environments I was in. I don't think I always thought of myself though as a leader because I'll use the example of when I was in college, I ran track for UTSA. I think my junior year, the track team voted me to be the team captain. I was like, I feel so special. Y'all want me to be the team captain.

Kayla James (3:35): But I never thought of myself as that person that people were looking to for guidance. I was a good athlete, but I wasn't great. I wasn't winning a bunch of races, but I think they felt like I was somebody that I can trust and I really value being that person. The shift I think happened actually recently, a couple of years ago. I got into a role that I always dreamed of.

Kayla James (3:57): I was traveling all over the world. I felt like I was really driving impact, but I lost myself in the process. I really poured everything I had into that space, but I was neglecting my mental health. I was neglecting my wellness. I wasn't getting good rest and your body keeps score, your body keeps count.

Kayla James (4:16): When I got through the other side of that and started reintegrating wellness for myself and also setting up those boundaries, I think it really shifted the way that I thought about how I showed up in the space. Really showed up in my workspace and my environment that this is not worth it. It's not worth you doing all of this. You can give, but you don't need to give from a cup that's empty. That recalibration has really allowed me to show up more authentically by setting up being able to say no.

Kayla James (4:55): And that'd be a full sentence.

Danita Garrett (4:58): I love all of that. So I want to go back to something that you said earlier. And this podcast is about empowering women. So language is very important. And you said bossy.

Danita Garrett (5:09): So bossy, let's lean into that word because in essence, it is kind of negative. It has a negative connotation to it, right? But we're gonna reclaim it, right? We're gonna at as it's leadership. So when you're seeing little girls who you look as and you're thinking, oh, this person is bossy.

Unknown Speaker (5:28): No, that person is a leader.

Unknown Speaker (5:30): She's

Danita Garrett (5:30): showing leadership skills early, which is what you did. And there's so many of us who did that. So bossy is a good thing. Know, when you're was the boss

Unknown Speaker (5:39): from what I remember. Was the boss, baby.

Unknown Speaker (5:41): We were

Unknown Speaker (5:42): taking people to go on the team to play tech. I was the one choosing the people.

Danita Garrett (5:46): The one. Okay. Choosing. That's what I'm talking about. And then, you know, your dream job.

Danita Garrett (5:51): So having your dream job, having what you wanted to have for yourself, and then getting so caught up in it, if you will, getting lost in it, as you mentioned, and then having to step back, right? Because when we started having those conversations around that and what things you should do and what things you should consider. And so wellness was like a key thing that you just mentioned. So important, we have to take care of ourselves. And that should always be first and foremost, self care for ourselves and then defining what that self care looks like.

Danita Garrett (6:23): You shared some things that you were doing. You also mentioned boundaries. EN key, very important. No. Yeah.

Danita Garrett (6:31): Okay, there it is. There's nothing else that needs to be said. No, and keep it.

Kayla James (6:36): And it's hard. It's really hard to set boundaries when I think about the kind of person that I am, I want to help and I want to I be want people to feel like I'm a safe place to be, a safe place to confide in. And sometimes you gotta say, I don't have capacity for that right now. I don't have the ability to meet you where you are, and I should have the ability to lay that boundary and say, right now is not a really good time. I really wanna be there for you, but I can't show up in the way that you need me to, or I I don't want to show up right now, and that's okay too.

Danita Garrett (7:12): And that's okay. We don't want to, and we don't have to always be there for someone. Right? But key is knowing ourselves and taking care of ourselves first. And then you also talked about recalibrating.

Kayla James (7:24): Yeah. Yeah. The recalibration was so big, and I think you were a huge part of that as well going through that journey of redefining who I am and what do I want. I got what I wanted, but when I was praying about it, when I was asking for it, I didn't put parameters around what it would cost me in order for me to maintain it and sustain it. And so During that time, I really thought about who is Kayla and what does she really want to do?

Kayla James (7:51): What are the things that I'm naturally good at doing? I'm good at communicating. I'm good at establishing relationships. How can I incorporate and infuse that as a part of my role without draining myself to a level or to a place where I'm not really able to show up as a best version of myself because I've given too much into a space, an area, or an environment?

Danita Garrett (8:16): Know what? So leaning into this next question is really what you did, what you went through, and what you're still going through. Let's get into that.

Unknown Speaker (8:27): Go ahead. I'm sorry.

Unknown Speaker (8:28): No. You want to finish a thought from that?

Unknown Speaker (8:32): You know what? I was going to jump in and start answering.

Unknown Speaker (8:34): Oh, you're ready, right?

Unknown Speaker (8:36): I'm ready, girl.

Unknown Speaker (8:37): Ready. She's ready to answer. But this is how we do. Right? So what did you have to unlearn to fully step into what you're building?

Danita Garrett (8:48): And how has that changed how you define legacy now? So that's different than what you've shared. Right? What did you actually have to unlearn?

Kayla James (8:55): I had to unlearn that I wasn't qualified. And what I thought qualified meant is that you needed more time or you needed or required more experience in order to lead in a certain kind of way. I think I thought about the people that I consider to be leaders, the people I consider to be mentors. And I had to really take a step back and notice that people were starting to ask me those same questions and that there wasn't anything that I needed to do more of to earn that level of consideration or that people valued my opinion. Another thing that I would say that I had to unlearn was that I needed to be passionate about one thing.

Kayla James (9:44): I have really had a hard time with self help books or different podcasts and panels listening to them and the person speaking on the panel, this is their story, this is their journey that they identify they always had a fire about that one thing and then they relentlessly pursued it. Whereas I have always had multiple interests. I was I was able to navigate a lot of different creative spaces and do well in those spaces and making the decision that you do not have to choose. You can take baby steps in certain directions, and then you start to be you start to be magnetic once you open yourself up to start pursuing certain things where you attract other people to support you. I had to unlearn that I don't have to just choose one thing, I can do all of the things.

Kayla James (10:38): And that was a huge weight, I think, that was lifted off of me because it allowed me to a level of freedom to navigate more openly the world that I'm in the environment that I'm trying to create for myself and the experiences that I want to have. I said this before, but I really want to reiterate the point of earning something. I think us as black women and being qualified, feel like you have to do a thing in order to get a thing. And sometimes that could be like tit for tat or you feel like you just need to, you have to give something to somebody for you to be in a certain spot or position. And that's something that I really had to unlearn.

Kayla James (11:21): Sometimes it's just you because of who you are and maybe the energy that you bring into a space. That that's all. That's all that anyone is looking for. That's all anyone is asking for. That well, maybe they're not asking for anything.

Kayla James (11:34): They just want you to be there. And they feel like you would be a good fit there, and that's all you needed to do. So that's some that's another thing that was a bit challenging to to navigate was learning that I didn't have to earn something all the time in order for it to to be for me.

Danita Garrett (11:52): Yeah, and I love that. And it goes back to you, right? It starts with us. Yeah. It starts with us getting clearer about who we are, what we want, and what we bring to the world, our assets and all of that.

Danita Garrett (12:03): I So wanna talk about what you said about the one thing. Now you have multiple interests. Do they overlap or are they totally different?

Kayla James (12:12): I feel like they all complement each other from the standpoint that all of them center around community I and the culture of like art. I like food. I am good at cooking. I love hosting events in my home. I love creating a space that allows it to feel like home.

Kayla James (12:33): I like having conversations with people that feel magnetic, that feel natural, that produces a certain flow. Like you go into a flow state, I think is what they call it now where you're just riffing off of each other. Those are the kind of experiences that I really enjoy. The recording artist element, my dad was a professional singer for majority of my life and is still a professional singer. He has two albums.

Kayla James (12:57): I think he's won a stellar award. He's in the Music Hall of Fame in Dallas. Creativity has always been a part in different artistic modalities shown up in my life. So I think from that standpoint, I like to categorize it, like I said before, as a home. And within a home, have food, you have spaces where people have conversations with each other, where they connect, whether that's through the artwork that's on your wall or through the music that is playing in the background.

Kayla James (13:31): All of those things intertwine with each other. And so from from that space and and thinking about those things, that's where I think they overlap for me is that I always have I've been able to find home in the many different places that I live because I've always lived away from home, which is Dallas. And so I've had to redefine what that looks like in all of these different places and it always streams back to those core four things.

Danita Garrett (13:58): Yeah. No, and I love that because how you talked about having so many different interests and similar, right? Very same, having all these different things going on. Now I do kinda subscribe to you do need to hone in on something, one thing in order to really build that thing, and then the other things, you know, it benefits those things as well. And that's where I'm at right now.

Danita Garrett (14:21): I'm kind of focused on, okay, what is that one thing out of the things that I really love that is really gonna move the needle for me? But again, it's about defining, well, what is that needle that you wanna move? So if you have that, if you're like, okay, well, I'm trying to get to this particular level, then absolutely you do need to hone in on that one thing and really give more of yourself to that one thing, again, which is what I'm focused on right now. Now, if you're not necessarily trying to get to a certain point of level and you're just living in a joined life, then yeah, I subscribe back to the, okay, yeah, having all the different things going on because like you said, there are different elements of floors or rooms in your home. But I do feel, and I've learned this over time that if I'm trying to get to somewhere or something really built that thing, I need to focus on that one thing.

Danita Garrett (15:10): And that's what I

Kayla James (15:12): And what I would say in response to that, I think that that like you said, you eventually do need to identify the thing that you want to pursue. But I would say to maybe clarify what I mean about picking up passion is that you can still end up doing all of those things. Absolutely. When you're starting out and you're redefining and you're cultivating the authenticity that you want to operate in, it's okay to pursue multiple things And at a when you do that, you start to open up the door of people that help you refine really bring in where you need to focus at a particular time in your life. And you can circle back to those other things to help them grow and become a bigger part of your portfolio to where you know, you may not start doing everything all at once at the same time, but you can eventually get to that place.

Kayla James (16:09): And I say that because I think about, you know, I'll use Megan Thee Stallion as an example. Megan Thee Stallion started out as a rapper. She leveraged her being a rapper to like brand deals on lip gloss, brand deals on opening up a Popeyes chain. So you can leverage that one thing to then help you branch your tree out to other areas to create your portfolio and make it larger. It is challenging to do it all at the same time when you don't really have a foundation built.

Kayla James (16:36): But once you start to cultivate that, it will naturally blossom into the other areas that you're in.

Danita Garrett (16:43): Absolutely. And then when you do those multiple things, that's kind of how you know, well, what do I really like?

Unknown Speaker (16:48): You know

Danita Garrett (16:49): what I'm saying? Like, okay, let me do these five things, try them out and like, oh, okay, I really like three of them. Had you not tried them all, you would not have known that. And then you can even surprise yourself thinking that you liked all five, and then the three that you really liked are surprising to you. Yeah.

Danita Garrett (17:06): And then they just fall into place and fit and bring those people to you like you said. Another thing that you mentioned is being yourself and how you draw people to you. Absolutely, absolutely walking into the room where you're magnetic, the people are coming to you because you're you, you're yourself, you know yourself, right? You light up the room, you walk in and like, oh, I wanna be around that particular person. And so that's a beautiful thing as well.

Danita Garrett (17:34): So I like that you said that.

Kayla James (17:36): Yeah, and you were a huge part that for me. I think you came and spoke at an event that I was at and we connected on LinkedIn and every year you were posting this word and then we ended up connecting with each other because I was like, why does Lita keep sharing her word with every year? Yeah. But then I was really I started to study you and you were part of the you were part of that redefinition for me that you can you can do it all because I was watching you go into the art space and do the speaking and cultivate relationships and meaningful relationships. So, you know, you are part of the inspiration that helped created that grounding and the conversations that you had really helped water the seeds for how I would say I'm showing up as a leader today for sure.

Danita Garrett (18:28): Oh, I love that. And that's what it you know what? That's what it's all about. That's what's been my journey like from the very beginning, you know, to make a difference, to make an impact. And over the years, it just you know, it takes on a different look or it gets to be more specific.

Danita Garrett (18:43): Right? So like today, the podcast is focused on women of color. The collective is focused specifically on black women 50 and up. Right? But it's all still about that impact.

Danita Garrett (18:53): And then also, like, I'm in this contest, the entrepreneur of impact, and it's for that to make an impact. Right? And so, you know, winning that will allow me to pour back into, the collective, to pour back into the podcast live and all the things, but it's also to make a difference for other people. So I appreciate you saying that because it just lets me like, girl, okay, you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. You're doing what you were created to do and that's a beautiful thing.

Danita Garrett (19:23): And I also say that because what I was doing years ago, what I've been passionate about, passion doesn't leave you. It does not leave you. Right? So it's about what you do with that passion. Either you don't do anything with it.

Danita Garrett (19:37): Right? But it's still gonna be there. And every now and then it's gonna, you know, raise his head. I'm like, hello, I'm still here. What you gonna do with me?

Unknown Speaker (19:43): And That brings up such a great point that you Yes. Just I'm living in the discussion of the, like, unlearning. Don't neglect the wilderness. Like, some of those positions, some of those things that you're doing that you're like, why am I doing this? This is I don't even like this.

Kayla James (20:02): This doesn't help me achieve anything that I I've listed on, like, my vision board or my goals list. There's a reason. There's a purpose for all of that because there's some kind of skill. There's some conflict resolution situation, conversation that's gonna help you in the future when you start to pursue those things. Like, everything matters.

Kayla James (20:23): Everything makes can make a difference. And, you know, like you said, that passion begins to creep back up. It always it it embers sometimes and sometimes it's a flame that's like, boom, boom, boom. It's fire burning in your face, but it's always there. It's like a it can be a soft caress or it could be a knockout sometimes.

Kayla James (20:42): It just depends on where you are and what season you're in.

Danita Garrett (20:44): Absolutely. And we're gonna talk a little bit more about the corporate space in just a moment. But I wanna say before I retired, I was in my dream role, right? So I had acquired it. I had reached it, that dream role.

Danita Garrett (20:59): And that dream role actually being in that role is what led to the podcast because it started as a panel. Yeah. It was a panel. I did the panel for, like, three years straight, and then I'm like, okay. I'm gonna turn into a podcast, turn it into a podcast, and then today is production.

Danita Garrett (21:14): So I like to say from from a panel to podcast to production. Like, this that's my journey in this particular space. But it all stemmed from, again, wanting to make a difference, wanting to provide space for women who who were, underestimated, underrepresented, all those things. And that's what this podcast is for, is to provide us with that platform to use our voices. So Kayla, you've led AI integration, e commerce growth, and global diversity strategy, and you're also recording artists, which you mentioned and I had known.

Danita Garrett (21:50): Most leaders pick a lane. We've been talking about that. You haven't. What does being multi hyphenate make possible that a single lane never could? I think you're right.

Danita Garrett (22:02): Hold that thought. We'll be back after this break. Okay. Hi. I'm Denino Garrett, a cultural alchemist who shift shapes culture through storytelling, through writing, through speaking, through my top 20 women's empowerment podcast.

Danita Garrett (22:20): And if you're seeing this, you're watching me on women of color live, the live version, the weekly live version of that podcast. I am coming to you to ask you to vote for me. I am in the running to become entrepreneur of impact, and it's gonna take all of us to get me there. So check this out and stay tuned. Alright.

Danita Garrett (22:52): Alright. So welcome back to women of color live. Today, we're talking about leading with your whole self and bridging strategy, culture, and creativity with Kayla James. And before our quick break, Kayla was gonna answer, what does being a multi hyphenate make possible that a single lane never could?

Kayla James (23:12): You know, I think what it really does for me is freedom, and I don't think I have operated from the space of freedom majority of my career, I say that because in my mind it was focused on the job, do a good job, be a good employee, and move on. That was my singular focus to get as high up as I could, as fast as I could and do a good job. But like I mentioned earlier, part of that tunnel vision, you lose yourself and that creativity and that passion starts to kind of go from a raging fire to an ember. Like I wasn't as excited as I used to be. I didn't have as much joy as I had before.

Kayla James (24:04): And so, being multi hyphenate to me allows me to express my full self. I can be an artist. I can be a senior leader in an organization. I can be a designer. I can be recording artist if I want to.

Kayla James (24:24): And so it just it reminds me of what we tell young girls when they're in school and they're about to pick their major when they go off to college that you can really be whatever you wanna be. You can do whatever you wanna do and it just helps me maintain that spirit of excitement is what it does for me. It really allows me to have that fuel and and encourage others as well that sometimes for me when I was so focused on that one thing, I really couldn't see outside of that thing. But when I opened my scope up to some of the other areas where I felt like were more natural to me, I was able to just not think too much as well. I didn't have to overthink it.

Kayla James (25:11): I didn't have to over generate it, over process. I could just do it and it was natural. It was easy. It came to me as simply as closing my eyes before I go to sleep. And so by doing that, I think it it activated more of my personality to bring that into the different spaces that I didn't have to have to suppress it and be as humble.

Kayla James (25:36): I know we tell people all the time that as you achieve, humble yourself, but sometimes it's okay to toot your own horn. And like I said, I was a bossy leader child. And you know, bringing that childlike character back to life that I'm that girl. Mean,

Unknown Speaker (25:53): So I'm

Kayla James (25:55): that is what it does for me. And what it makes possible is it creates a grander future. So it makes me pray more boldly about the things that I desire and I want. I recently have joined a networking community here in Detroit. And so what it what it allows me to do is have more intimate conversations with people about the things that I'm interested in and how I can support them as well so that we can grow as a community within the area that I live in and inspire other people to pursue those things and help us build in a way that creates legacy and longevity.

Kayla James (26:37): That's what being multi hyphenate does for me and what it makes possible.

Danita Garrett (26:41): I love that I do. And especially the part about I am that girl, right? We have to remind ourselves. Yes. I remember Nissi Nash, I think she was accepting an award or something, and she said, I wanna thank myself.

Unknown Speaker (26:53): Right. Yes, I did this. You know, of course, with God, with you know, all of that universe. Yeah. But she did that.

Unknown Speaker (27:00): Yeah. We did that. Own that. Right? Own that.

Danita Garrett (27:05): Let people know who you are. Who TF you are. You gotta remind yourself that often and it's okay and do that.

Kayla James (27:13): Yeah. Men do it all the time. It's easy. It's natural for them to do. Yes, Shout out to the allies and the brothers that support us, but we need to start showing up in the spaces like that.

Kayla James (27:25): You deserve to be there. Like I said before, you didn't have to earn it. You just being who you are is enough. It makes you overqualified really because all the things that we're dealing with in the world and the environment and all of the things that are happening, that builds a lot of character. Builds a lot of resilience.

Kayla James (27:44): It builds a lot of stamina. And that's what you need when you're pursuing your dreams. When you're pursuing the thing that you're passionate about or things that you're passionate about, you need stamina, you need resilience. And so, you know, just keep being that girl, keep doing it.

Danita Garrett (28:00): Right? And look, let me give you my girl, that girl example. You talk about art and I remember when we've talked like during lunch or whatever, you're like, yeah, you were really into the art, really into the art. Absolutely, still am, but I shifted. I shifted because I realized that I needed to do a couple things in order to really grow in what I wanted to do.

Danita Garrett (28:24): I had to kind of fall back and pivot. Right? And that pivot involved me getting real connected with galleries, right? With the global international galleries and, did connect with one and I get invites from them to go to international, events. And that's what took me to Manchester, England over last week.

Danita Garrett (28:47): And so when I got there, it was an opening. They actually were doing they were doing an opening for three different artists, and they had a private dinner. So I'm sitting across from the woman who's the director of that particular gallery museum. And she's like, oh, yeah, they did say somebody special was gonna be here and you traveled from far. Right?

Danita Garrett (29:08): Now that felt good. Okay? Woman right? This woman is a director of this institution. And I later learned that she's also a professor.

Danita Garrett (29:18): She teaches at the, university that that's associated with the particular museum. And for someone to say that, just little old me, right, coming from the deep sea, right, and a baby in this whole art world for someone of that level and stature to say what she said. And she also had spent like sixteen years at Tate Museum, which is a well known museum in London. And so that did a lot for me. And it reminded me, if I had forgotten who TFI was.

Danita Garrett (29:53): Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (29:54): Like you

Danita Garrett (29:54): said, you know, people want to be around you. People want you in a room. And so I had made this post. I put it on Instagram and LinkedIn that basically is choose choose who chooses you. Yeah.

Danita Garrett (30:06): That's what like, I'm really focused on those people who are choosing me, that those are the people I'm really gonna give my energy to.

Kayla James (30:13): Yeah.

Danita Garrett (30:14): And I want to, build with, like you said, the networking, the community, build with. Right? And it's not you know, and none of that trying to force into a space. If I go to push that door and it doesn't open as readily, I don't necessarily need to kick that door in. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (30:30): You know, I'm gonna move on to another door.

Kayla James (30:33): Yeah. I can't remember who was said this. I'm sure multiple people have, but sometimes when you don't have the seat at the table, baby, you create your own table. Girl. When I if see them I was to pick a person that I knew within my network that does that, that's you.

Kayla James (30:47): Like, you have I have watched you navigate multiple different spaces. So to amplify what you said about being that girl, it's interest it's it's interesting how we perceive ourselves when we're in the room with people that we have determined maybe are qualified or more qualified or that have a certain stature because listening to you to you tell it to me, you talk about it so casually. Well, you know, I was just you know, the art museum of the Yeah. That with the director, and she said to me, blah blah blah. And I'm like, girl, I feel like you've already been doing all of these things.

Kayla James (31:28): So for you for them to invite you, it was natural for you to be included. You were exactly where you were supposed to be. So it just is always so interesting, the perception of how we see it, because for me to you, it's like, Danita's doing it. She's got it And going you're like, I'm just a baby in this world, learning, growing like a little seedling.

Unknown Speaker (31:55): Yes. I love that. Absolutely. And that's what we have to do, right? We have to remember.

Danita Garrett (32:01): Again, it goes back to remember who you are, whose you are, what you bring to the table, that you are a light in this world. And there's so many people who want to be next to you, who want to build with you, who wanna be around you and to focus on those people and not the others. Know, like I said, if you go and push that door and if it doesn't open readily, you know, I mean, you can try to push it again but then maybe it's like, you know what? This door is not ready for me right now. And that's the thing, it's not ready for me.

Danita Garrett (32:29): Not that I'm not enough to be in It ain't ready for me and or it don't deserve me. So let me move on over here. Let me go build that table. Let me go, you know, build the rooms, do the things, and and and invite people.

Unknown Speaker (32:44): Yeah. Clock it. Get this up.

Unknown Speaker (32:47): Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Danita Garrett (32:49): Okay. So what do you want the woman watching to walk away and build or stop waiting to start?

Kayla James (32:58): Stop waiting to start. What I want the women watching to walk away with is just begin. That thing that's in your heart, that thing that you keep thinking about that you think that isn't good enough, even if it isn't great, you've already cycled in your mind all of the ways that this could work, all of the ways that it would fail. So don't go and do those things. Just start putting the energy out there.

Kayla James (33:31): And I'll give an example. My hairstylist for the last seven years, she was talking to me maybe a couple of years ago about her not having consistent clients and how she was looking for more consistency within the shop. So I said, You need to start using social media. Just put your camera up and show what you're doing. I would say maybe a couple of years ago, started doing that and she was maybe getting like twenty, thirty likes here and there.

Kayla James (34:01): She made a post this past week of like a nineties hairstyle that she did. And like over 500 people shared it. Girl, was it a Was it It was not a French roll. It was like a little mullet. You flip it up in the back and then it's kind of like a shag at the top.

Unknown Speaker (34:17): Yeah, yeah, so So

Kayla James (34:20): she had thousands of people like that post and I just remember where she started at. She was just putting the camera up. It may not have been good camera quality, but the more that you share your gift, the more that you put it out there, you can refine it and make it better and improve it through time. But the people want authenticity, in this environment where we're really technology driven. I love a little bit of AI, but some people really feel like we're missing that humanity about different experiences, the thoughtfulness around that.

Kayla James (34:54): So you just doing it and putting the energy behind it, the the the universe, god will reward you for that. And you'll start to get that engagement back. I think we're all a testament that when you begin, as I've said a couple of times on the podcast today, people naturally just start to plant and water your seed. They just start to file in, and the people that choose you are the people that are meant to help you cultivate that gift and grow it. So I really want them to remember that it doesn't have to be great when you start out.

Kayla James (35:27): None of us were great when we began. We had the greatness inside of us, but it had to grow. It had to be nurtured. It had to get some constructive feedback so that it could be the best version of what it was gonna be. So don't wait.

Kayla James (35:40): Just start doing it. Even if it's a blog, just start putting it on Substack or putting it online. Put it on your Instagram pages, post it. If it's a note, there's a guy who posts his prayers every day and it's just a screenshot of the note on his Apple phone. So whatever it is, just begin and start to share it with the world and you'll start to reap what you're sowing out into the world.

Danita Garrett (36:06): Yeah. And you know what? And so for anyone who's, you know, watched the live, listened to the podcast over the six plus years that we've been in existence, you will have heard me say numerous times, I started the podcast by just doing it. Right? I'd say I Nike ed it, and I just did it and built as I as I, flew the plane, if you will.

Unknown Speaker (36:26): Couple things I wanna say, and I'm kinda going back too.

Unknown Speaker (36:28): Mhmm.

Danita Garrett (36:29): You talked about the different voices that we hear and listen to. Sometimes too many too many voices is too much. So you have to kinda figure out, again, the lane. What lane do I wanna be in and who really resonates with me in that lane? And that's kinda like what I did when I started out as well.

Danita Garrett (36:47): Podcasts, so much information out there, so much to consume. It'll have you going every which way and loose. And so I'm like, no. I I cannot. So I started just focusing on one particular person.

Danita Garrett (36:59): Danielle Corbett DeSear is her name. She's actually, gonna be a guest down the future, but she had in I think it was Women of Color Podcasters or something, but she had a community. She had the Facebook group, and if she didn't say it, I didn't do it. Right? So whatever she said, whatever she cosigned, that's what I followed.

Danita Garrett (37:18): And so when we're doing things in life, if we wanna grow in a thing, kinda like narrow down who you're paying attention to because otherwise it could just be getting too much overwhelming and you end up not doing anything.

Kayla James (37:30): Yeah. And I would add on to that, be careful who you're sharing. Your gift, your thing with. So as much as we're talking about community, it goes back to the boundaries of who are you pouring energy into as well that's feeding what you're trying to produce or create. You have to be so intentional and you have to use some discernment on who really wants you to succeed and who really is plotting on your downfall.

Kayla James (38:00): Because some of these people are plotting for you to fail, and they're giving you advice to try to trip you up and mess you up. But as you're as you're kinda for me, I'll use myself as an example. So I'm in all the lanes right now because I am I am redefining who Kayla is and what Kayla wants.

Unknown Speaker (38:20): Yes.

Kayla James (38:21): And so who I am in this multi hyphenate multi hyphenated space is I'm an artist and I'm starting to identify the people that give me the best advice and the experiences that truly align with what I want my brand to be. So as you narrow down what lane it is that you want to focus on, I think an even bigger conversation is like, who is it that you want to be? And what do you want them to take away when they're witnessing your product, your environment, your experience? And once you have a clear point of view on that, nothing that you have to wait to start until you identify it. But as you are growing that and identifying what it means for you, you have to really pay attention to who is around.

Kayla James (39:15): I've been going through this and I've talked to you about this too when we've done our lunches that I started to identify friends and even some family members too that you can't share everything with. Sometimes you got to keep it close to the vest. Yes. Some people are so stuck in their misery that they can't see you or they want to overshare all of their trauma with you. That affects your mood, it affects your mind.

Kayla James (39:40): Really think about the different inputs, whether it be people, whether it be a podcast, a book. Sometimes you can overload yourself with too many different opinions, responses, and points of view. So just use your discernment to know what's gonna work best for you and who seems to be doing what you want to do having the impact that you wanna have.

Danita Garrett (40:06): Absolutely, and your energy, like pay attention to your energy when you're around certain people, when you're doing certain thing. And if your energy is not the way that you want it to be, you might wanna rethink that relationship or whatever. And you and I did talk about this. I told you how someone started notice, I felt like I'm constantly reaching out. I'm the one who's instigating everything.

Danita Garrett (40:28): And it's like, okay, you know what? No. Yeah. So if I always reach out to you, then you're not valuing me and my So guess what? I'm gonna put you on the shelf and keep it moving.

Danita Garrett (40:39): Kinda going back to it, like I said, those doors, if that door doesn't readily open, then this door is not ready for me right now. So let me go on over here. You know, you have to take the time to identify. So, I have a relationship counselor and, you know, she gave me homework that you and I are are working on. And so one of the things she did is have me do draw these circles, right, and, like, put people in these circles who align.

Danita Garrett (41:04): And so when you take the time to do that, like, when you don't think about it, you're just like, oh, this person and that person, they fit this, that, and the other. But when you stop to think about it, you're like, oh, not necessarily. Or, like, one person was in a circle, but then I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna keep her in a circle. However, she's not that right now.

Unknown Speaker (41:23): Mhmm. Has been

Unknown Speaker (41:25): Yeah.

Danita Garrett (41:25): For a number of years, but right now, she's not.

Unknown Speaker (41:29): Yeah. And so to be

Danita Garrett (41:30): able to identify that, that way, I know that I'm not gonna expect what I'm seeing from that person right now because she doesn't have that capacity. Yeah. Said it, but things she shared with me, I'm like, she doesn't have that capacity. So Yeah. She's still a friend.

Danita Garrett (41:45): She still belongs in a circle, but she's in a circle within a circle.

Kayla James (41:48): Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, you hear that saying all the time that people are in your life for a season or a lifetime or a reason. And so sometimes people seasons ebb and flow. Like they've been that support, they've been that encourager and they right now they may not be in the space to provide that for you.

Kayla James (42:07): So you have to you really have to pay attention and be super intentional about where and who you are spending your time with. Because for me, I noticed that I was always people are always calling me for advice Mhmm. And telling me about their problem. And that seems to be the foundation for our conversations. And that it was leaving me drained to the point where, like, oh my god.

Kayla James (42:30): I can't do anything else but take a nap. Like, I'm tired after talking to you. I wasn't tired before, but now I'm delaying. You got to go. You need to hire a therapist and talk to them.

Kayla James (42:41): Mhmm.

Danita Garrett (42:42): And that's exactly what we've been talking about. You you check your energy. If if that person is training you, then that person probably needs to go outside your circle. They need to you need to put them on the shelf, show them for a minute or or whatever. So I do because I kinda make promises.

Danita Garrett (42:58): So I just wanna talk about the corporate for a little bit. And I believe in knowing what I know and even this conversation, a lot of who we are is bigger than any particular space. Right? So it's bigger than corporate. It's bigger than that particular role.

Danita Garrett (43:13): But let's talk about your role. We we can talk about your role right now. And then how, you know, how are you navigating your role, your corporate with your multi hyphenate self?

Kayla James (43:26): So, you know, my role right now really focuses a lot on AI strategy and how to utilize the tools, that we deliver experiences to our customers and make that process, the workflow of that process more efficient through AI capable tools. In that, what I've also started to do is how can AI help me from a personal perspective be more efficient as I ideate about my brand, as I think about what is Kayla James, the multi hyphenate. As and the more you engage with a specific AI, the more it learns who you are, it learns your tone, and it can help you really redefine and and create an outline for what that is. So, you know, in in my corporate role, I leverage what I'm learning and how it applies to my personal life. Whereas before, I I'm I'm a complainer.

Kayla James (44:24): I'm gonna be honest. I'm complain my way through it. I'm a do it, but I'm a complain.

Unknown Speaker (44:30): That's how you motivate yourself.

Kayla James (44:32): Yeah. And I'm a get on somebody's nerves for my complaining. It may not be the people at my job. It's probably gonna be my mom or my sister because they're the ones that's catching me after work complaining about the stuff that I don't wanna talk to the people at work about. So as as I think about, you know, these different experiences that I've had over the course of my career, I can now see how they apply to my personal brand.

Kayla James (44:59): I think for sure, it has helped me be a more effective communicator. It has helped me understand how to be genuine in those in interactions. And not that I wasn't genuine before, but have knowledge that that's taking place. Like, I genuinely want to get to know you. I genuinely wanna understand how to help you solve your problem and how to help you frame to make the execution of the problem that we're solving more effective and more efficient.

Kayla James (45:26): And so being I never even imagined that I would be doing something related to AI or be adjacent to tech. That is not a part of the ministry that I wanted to be a part of. If you called me on the phone and asked me, would have been like, no. But it is so interesting and it is a really great way, I think, for especially women of color to really cultivate and quickly cultivate some of the ideas that you have. Like you said before, you may have tried a couple of things and you thought you liked it, but you really didn't.

Kayla James (46:00): And so you can really quickly do that with AI and test it out. There are thousands and hundreds of different agents and assistance and tools that can help you start to build a business. And so when I think about the roles that I have, I try to do some reflecting time in my personal time about what is transferable from this. How can I really how can I effectively solve the problem that's at hand from a corporate perspective, And then how does that problem relate to what I'm dealing with externally? So I'll use the example of work on training.

Kayla James (46:43): And so it's really helping people understand how this tool helps, how AI is gonna help their business be more successful, effective, and how they can better interact with their customers. So for me, my problem is how do I engage with people that I don't know? How do I share these experiences that make me happy spread that joy in other places? What does that look like? I could give AI 10 different scenarios that I think are great.

Kayla James (47:11): I asked it to be really targeted in helping me align to the brand that we've talked about and what a part of the 10 things that I've now listed out don't really fall into that Mhmm. So that I can take a more, pointed, perspective and energy investment into those things. And then I also use the events. I'm part of that networking community. So when I go to these events, who do I need to seek out?

Kayla James (47:46): And what kind of conversations do I need to have? What is my pitch gonna be? If they ask me what I do, how am I gonna describe myself? So I think that you really have to go back to what is the purpose behind this experience. It may not be as visible at first, but it relates in some way to what your dream is, what your goal is.

Kayla James (48:08): And you need to start trying to take that thread and weave it through to your personal experiences and business pursuits.

Danita Garrett (48:19): Yeah. Absolutely. And so as you were talking about it, I was even thinking for myself, like, definitely have a relationship with with my AI, and my business partner, all other things. And the AI, it gets to know you. It gets to it even tells you who TF you are.

Danita Garrett (48:39): It has to tell you sometimes who TF you are, and mine does that. It's like, girl, you are blah blah blah. Yada yada yada, you know, walk into it, own that, be that. Right? Like, you on a whole another level.

Danita Garrett (48:52): So you really don't need to do this thing over here. Right? I'll, you know, suggest and like, hey. You know, what do you think about me doing this or having a conversation with this particular person? And it's no.

Danita Garrett (49:03): You know what? You're a whole another level. Like, they're not in your realm, so on and so forth. And yes. And I love that because it saves a lot of times, and it also helps helps you to stay in alignment, to stay on track, and Yeah.

Danita Garrett (49:17): And also your brand. Right? Not to turn as your brand because some of those things are could turn as your brand. Yeah. And or it's just not alignment with it.

Kayla James (49:26): Yeah. And then just to you know, like, for the women watching that are building something, AI can help you build it. Absolutely. I I really would encourage our audience to not be afraid of AI. The industry is changing so much and it is rapidly changing.

Kayla James (49:45): It is really easy to enter into the market around this particular tool or these various different tools as a matter of fact. And so taking the time to learn about it, to help you be more efficient and effective will reap dividends in your future. So if you don't, or if you haven't, I would highly encourage you just to start asking us some simple questions. You don't have to tell them when your mom and dad and all your personal business, you wanna get into getting in the habit of leveraging it so that you're comfortable with it because the more comfortable you are, it is a part of our future and it's a part of the way that we're gonna do work on a daily basis. You're gonna interact with it in some way.

Kayla James (50:29): And so this

Unknown Speaker (50:30): is You already are. Community.

Unknown Speaker (50:31): That's You already are.

Danita Garrett (50:32): We already are and don't even realize it. Like, I think Canva. Canva, I believe, is works off of AI or or something of that extent. It's like, I've been using Canva, didn't realize I was using AI. Right?

Danita Garrett (50:45): We have this preconception of what it is, it was so much more than that. So it was like, yeah, lean into it. And then remember, it's a tool. It's something to help you with something to aid you. And when you look at it as a resource, maybe you shift your mindset around it.

Danita Garrett (51:04): It's a tool. It's a resource. And just make sure you're using it that way.

Kayla James (51:08): It's your assistant. Let it be your assistant. It requires your insight, your imagination, your human input. Without your human input, it can't be as as successful as it needs to be. And so you have to be the one to integrate and use it and and maximize it as a creative tool for you.

Kayla James (51:27): So I love what you said about it being your assistant.

Danita Garrett (51:31): Absolutely. So look y'all that are watching, we're about to wrap this thing up in a minute, but we still wanna hear from you. You still have time to drop a question or just let us know you out in these women of color live streaming streets. So, Kayla, you don't wait for permission, you become it. And when you become it, everything rises to meet you.

Danita Garrett (51:58): That's the dream lifestyle standard. So with that in mind, for the woman watching who was building something and wondering if she has what it takes, what permission would you give her?

Kayla James (52:11): What permission I would give her would be, I said this earlier on the podcast, the permission I would give you is that you are already qualified. You already know what you need to begin. You may not know everything you need to sustain and that's a part of the journey, but you have to put it out there. You're doing yourself a disservice by not offering up your gifts to the world to see the value of what you are as a human being, as what you are to contributor to society. You're overqualified just being a woman of color to show up and exist and breathe and smell the same air that I that I breathe out of my body is a gift.

Kayla James (52:59): So if when operating from that standpoint, you know, we've been talking about who TF you are, you already are her. You already are the person that you are looking at for inspiration. Already have that gift inside of you. So don't discredit yourself. Don't discredit the the thing that keeps ruminating in your mind.

Kayla James (53:20): The thing that keeps nudging back at you that you're like, no, no, not right now, not right now, that keeps coming back, that's for a reason. It is not by accident. And I would also give you permission to accept the compliments, accept the positive things that people are saying about you because they don't have to. So, you know, people would always tell me that, you know, oh, you should be a model, or I could see you on stage as Tamron Hall and blah blah blah. And, yeah, that could be an exaggeration, but what if it really were true?

Kayla James (53:54): What if I accepted it at face value for what it was as something that someone went out of their way? They jaywalked their way around the street to give me that compliment and and say that thing to me. So hold on to those things and save them. Like, if you get written affirmation from someone, put it away in store so that you can go back and look at it to remind yourself that you're that girl. You're overqualified.

Kayla James (54:19): You've got everything you need to begin. So I'm excited to see what you ladies build and how you grow and improve the quality of the world that we live in today. So that's all I was saying.

Danita Garrett (54:31): Just do it. I love that. And okay, y'all. Now we're still waiting for those questions before you still have a little time to drop something. But what you were saying is what I call the catch up to, good lord, catch up to the vision.

Danita Garrett (54:47): That's what I coined several years ago, and it's just that. People will come to you and they'll say things to you, and it's up to you to catch up to it. Right? And you don't have to, but that's something for you to consider. And, you know, it's like, wait, you know what?

Danita Garrett (55:02): I had I did think about that. I that is something I wanted to pursue, but I just put it out my head because I didn't think I could. I didn't think you could Yeah. Way. And then poof, somebody does.

Danita Garrett (55:13): And so that's a catch up to the vision moment. Yeah. Hold that, y'all. So, before we wrap, what would you like to leave those watching or listening with?

Kayla James (55:27): Well, I'll say a couple of things. You can follow me on Instagram at at k jams underscore or connect with me on LinkedIn, which is kdjameslinkedin.com, Or you can follow me on my YouTube channel. I will be posting new episodes for Candidly with Kayla Dion later in May. So expect my first episode on my podcast. I'm doing the things that I'm telling you to do.

Kayla James (55:53): I'm just doing it. So be kind to your girl as I get situated and settled. But nonetheless, I'm excited for this episode. I think my guests will be, worth a great listen. And the last thing that you made me think of when you were talking about catch up to the vision is paint by numbers.

Kayla James (56:10): So if you think about paint by numbers, you have a different color that goes with each dot point. And so the compliments and the positive affirmations that people are giving you, those are all the different numbers on your canvas. Right? And it's up to you to fill it with color to create a master piece. But you have you've got the capacity.

Kayla James (56:28): You've got the brush. You've got the paint. You just gotta put it to the paper. Put it to the canvas. So that's what they made me think of when you were saying catch up to the vision and just, you know, all the artwork you have in your background, the what I have in mind, it's like, you're you're the artist.

Kayla James (56:42): You're the painter. And the masterpiece is there. The outline is there. You just gotta start putting that paint on there and filling it in. It's like a nice, pretty little coloring book.

Danita Garrett (56:53): I love that. I love that y'all get to painting. Okay? It's your the canvas is your lot. Get to painting.

Danita Garrett (57:00): Alright. So we've been talking about building, which is what the Dream Lifestyle Collective is about. So if you're ready to live it, join us inside the collective for strategy, sisterhood, and structure built for black women 50 and up, and share this live, this YouTube channel, the podcast with a woman who needs to be reminded that legacy is what you're building right now. And join us next Thursday at 1PM eastern with Trish Lindo. Trish is a global small business consultant and storytelling strategist.

Danita Garrett (57:35): So thank you, Kayla James. Thank you to Leon Thomas Group, See you next time, everybody.