Dr. Dominica McBride on Collective Transformation, Community Healing & Becoming the Change Maker Your Community Needs

Transcript

00:00 02:44 Deneen L. Garrett:
the presence of people who refuse to accept the reality they were given and decide to build the one they deserve. But what does it take to become the change maker your community has been waiting for? Today we find out. Let's go. Welcome to Women of Color Live, the live version of Women of Color in Intimate Conversation, a top 20 women's empowerment podcast. We center and empower women of color. We also have a community for Black women 50 plus, the Dream Lifestyle Collective. Shout out to our production team at the Leon Thomas Group and specifically our producer, Orne Stewart Sr. So today I am joined by another Women of Color alum, Dr. Dominica McBride. She joined us previously for Transforming Lives and Collective Healing. She is a community psychologist, founder of Become, champion of culturally responsive evaluation, grassroots advocacy strategist, and a leading thinker in community healing and collective transformation. Since 2013, she has been building the capacity of communities to create the reality they desire and deserve across Arizona, Chicago, and Tanzania, Africa. Dr. Dominica McBride, welcome back to Women of Color. Thanks for having me, Deneen. It's good to be back. You are so welcome. And I'm excited to have a conversation and find out what's been going on. So we are, this is the final episode of our July series, the present series, Command the Room on the Narrative. And we close with the most expansive definition of presence yet, the collective kind. So let's get into it. And yes, and those who are watching, engage with us, drop some comments in the comment section, WOC, Dreamer, community, whatever, let us know you're out there. All right. So Dr. McBride, all month we've been talking about individual presence, commanding the room, owning your narrative. but your work lives in a different dimension of presence entirely. You're building communities that command their own rooms. So what does collective presence look like and why does it matter as much as individual authority?

02:46 05:25 Dr. Dominica McBride: Yes. So hello, everybody. I'm so glad to be back. It's so good to be in your presence, Danine, your virtual presence. I can feel your energy. I can feel your energy coming from the screen. So it's a good moment. So collective presence is about relationship. It's about the interdependence that we have together. So no individual is actually an individual, right? Like if we think about our past, just think about just your individual life from the moment you were conceived, right? It took two people. to come together, right? Like, you know, DNA from two people to come together. And then even before that, right? You have generations of people coming together to make this one moment, to make this one person come. And then we're shaped by so many people after that. We're shaped by our parents, if siblings, if we have them, extended family, if they're around, community, the people that we go to school with, that we might go to church with, that we might work with. we are shaped by people, period. So no singular individual is actually just an isolated entity. They are shaped by the people and the circumstances around them. So collective presence, collective becoming is about us, right? Like the group, the multiple, the people all together shaping each other in ways that enhance one another, that bring us closer together and that bring us into that reality of true interdependence, right? We have this interdependence in really subtle ways. We have this interdependence as For instance, we think about like the grocery store, right? The farmer grew the food, the truck driver brought it to the grocery store. We go in the grocery store, you know, somebody has owned the grocery store, operates the grocery store, the people putting the food out, we take the food, right? Like there's already this interdependence happening all the time, but then really community presence is making it even more, explicit, making it even more direct, making it even more palpable and powerful when we come together in relationship, when we come together collectively and we really intentionally care for one another and cultivate our collective well-being.

05:27 05:43 Deneen L. Garrett: You know, never really looked at it that way. Right? And you're absolutely right. Starting off with your parents, right? Two people. They communed with one another. So talk to us about your community, the communities that you build.

05:51 07:44 Dr. Dominica McBride: Yes, yes. So my organization become we're a nonprofit community transformation system building organization. We work with community members, organizations to co-create solutions, systems, and then evaluate those solutions and systems to make sure that they are working for the community, with the community, towards our healing and well-being. So we work with neighborhoods, we work with self-defined communities, we work with people that want to see a change in their surroundings, whether it's in their physical community, their neighborhood, or they want to see a change in a community that is connected by a certain identity or cause, like Black mothers, for example, right? Like we might not live in the same place, but we're connected across this common experience of being a mother in this country. I mean, we're in the United States right now. So, you know, speaking about like place. And so it's us really tapping into whether it's the neighborhood or the self-defined communities, but people who want to make a change, they want to see something better for their community. And we work with them to make sure it actually happens. It actually, they see the change, it's effective, it's sustainable, it's real, and it's robust, and it's rooted in what actually works. So we're in Chicago, but we're based in Chicago. So we work with different Chicago communities. One of our long-term partner communities is the community of Auburn Gresham on the South side of Chicago. We also work across like Chicago land and we also do some national work as well.

07:45 07:58 Deneen L. Garrett: Okay. And you founded Become in 2013 with the belief that communities should be at the forefront of realizing their own visions. What does it mean to you for a community to become and what gets in the way of that becoming?

07:59 10:16 Dr. Dominica McBride: Yeah. So here's a jargon term like community actualization, right? Like Communities to Become is tapping into community actualization. And what that means to me basically is that communities are caring for each other, right? You hear, or we hear a lot about communities that once felt like a village, right? Like the kids growing up in the community, people knew them. Like the people have walked down the street, they've gotten in trouble at school. Ms. Timmons, like, hey, I know you, I heard you got in trouble, I'm gonna tell your mom. Or what you want at home. while you're walking home, right? Same day, while you're walking home. And so we lived in these communities where we knew our neighbors, where we took care of the kids in the community, where we took care of each other, shared resources. A lot of that has dwindled drastically, even to the point of some people being afraid of their neighbors, not knowing them, but feeling isolated from one another. And so communities becoming is is breaking down that word come unity right like come unity like let's let's come together and truly support one another truly be there for each other's well-being so having this stance that every person that is born into a community, they have potential and they have this brilliance that they're born with and they have talent, but they need the right conditions, the right social conditions, physical conditions for that seed to grow into a beautiful flower, right? And so communities that recognize that each person has potential and that have rituals and practices and belief systems and values that bring us together in ways that make sure that every person in the community is supported in a way that cultivates that potential to becoming a reality. So it's like caring communities, that beloved community that Martin Luther King used to talk about.

10:17 11:37 Deneen L. Garrett: Yeah. And so this is really, you know, I'm listening to you and it really, you know, touches me. Right. Because as I mentioned earlier in the intro that I have a community for Black women 50 plus right now, that community has transitioned to a newsletter. for now, right? Because I'm trying to figure it out. How do I grow this community? How do I build this community? I launched it in November, opened it up, reached out to many, many women. Now, you know there's a whole bunch of Black women 50 and up. they were not tapping in. And it was just like, wow, what is happening? So, you know, they say when you build it, they'll come. Yeah, maybe. But there's more to it. Right. And I think you were talking about some of that, that there's more to it. And that's exactly what your work is for, that more to it to be able to bring it together. So where I am now with this, my community is, OK, I'm focusing on some other things to help to build the foundation still with that in mind. And instead of just severing all together, pausing it all together, I'm doing a newsletter. So it's still out there, still, again, laying that foundation and letting them know there is still a space for Black women 50 and up. Right now, we're just doing it differently until more of y'all are ready to come in the door.

11:40 12:56 Dr. Dominica McBride: But I think the coming in the door takes relationships. Our lives are so busy. They're busy. They can be stressful. People are pulled in all kinds of directions. If you're a parent, you're a daughter of an elderly parent. you're taking care of family members, you're taking care of community, you're trying to navigate this crazy world right now, right, with jobs being lost or, you know, different policies being taken away every, like, what, day? And so there's so much to navigate. I think, like, what really pulls people in is relationship. Like, when we have a relationship with each other, we're more likely to say, like, oh, okay, I can I can pause all of this craziness that's happening in my life to focus in here because I know this person, I trust this person, I feel connected to this person in some way, I feel comfortable, whatever it might be, but those relationships are anchors. So I think that there needs to be a lot of organizing, like that relationship building happening for us to really come together in a big way in this environment.

12:57 13:53 Deneen L. Garrett: Absolutely. Right. And the thing about it is we know that we need a space, a community, right? We know all the things that you just said are reasons to have a community, to have a space to go and have conversation like, hey, I just had this kind of day. This was crazy. The kids are running me nuts, ragged, all the things like. So you know what I'm saying? And it's interesting because the women that were a part of it, all of them had great things going on. And so, yes, all of those things were things that took them, you know, that had them engaged elsewhere. Right. And so, like I said, it's just a matter of, all right, need to regroup. and then come back to it, but again, not severing it, right? Just changing what it looks like, right? Maybe the capacity is, I don't have the capacity to engage, you know, daily, even weekly, but maybe I have the capacity to read a newsletter or read an article or something like that.

13:54 15:35 Dr. Dominica McBride: And I think it's good that you're keeping it going in some way, right? Because at least if people know, hey, she didn't totally disappear. She's still sending out messages. She's still reaching out, right? And then that can build over time for people to be like, oh, okay. I remember she continued. She was consistent. She was committed. I'm going to return, right? Now is the time. Yeah. And the thing is, it's like so, for women of color to have community, especially now with this level of stress that we're going through as a broader community and as a country. It's so important for us to have community. And I just finished a cohort, a women's leadership cohort. where I convened 17 amazing women of color. We went 10 weeks through a curriculum based on our book, Becoming Changemakers. And it was so beautiful the way we were vulnerable with each other, the way we cared for each other. And we're gonna keep it going. Like we're still, even though the 10 week program concluded last week, we're still gonna meet monthly going forward because we need that, right? We need each other and we can find solace in each other and peace in each other. And the thing that was most surprised about when I started this group was just the depth of how much We need a space where we can just be, and we can be cared for, and we can cathart, and we can express, and we can be ourselves.

15:35 15:35 SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

15:35 15:41 Dr. Dominica McBride: Right? We just want a place where we can just lay down the mask and just be ourselves.

15:42 18:31 Deneen L. Garrett: Mm hmm. Absolutely. Absolutely. And so for the woman who wants to become a change maker in her community but doesn't know where her individual presence ends and her collective responsibility begins, what does she need to hear and hold that thought? We'll be back after this break. I've been doing this work for a while, building credentialing, showing up week after week for women of color and more recently for black women, 50 plus who deserve a seat at every table in every room. And I want you to know the rooms are getting bigger. This year, I walked into the Black Enterprise Women of Power Summit as credentialed press. I was accepted as press in the room at the Milliken Institute Global Conference, one of the most prestigious gatherings of global leaders on the planet. I was also honored as a Leadership in Action honoree at Career Masters. And I finished in the top five in my category in the National Entrepreneur of Impact competition. And I'm not waiting for permission to be in the room. I'm building my way into every one of them. And the credential press at the marquee cultural events of 2026, bringing those conversations directly back to you across my social channels. And if you're a black woman over 50 who was done settling for the life you thought you were supposed to have, who was ready to dream boldly, decide intentionally, and drive your vision, there's a community built specifically for you. The Dream Lifestyle Collective, where we don't just talk about the dream, we live it. All right, so here's how you can be part of what's building. Watch and subscribe on YouTube, where we have new conversations every Thursday, listen and subscribe to the top 20 women's empowerment podcast, women of color and intimate conversation. And if you're ready to join our community, come inside the dream lifestyle collective. And if you're a brand and you're ready to be in a room where women of color conversations happen and more specifically where black women, 50 plus gather, become a sponsor. The vision is already moving. Catch up to it. Welcome back to Women of Color Live. We are talking about collective transformation and becoming change makers with Women of Color alum, Dr. Domenica McBride. So before the break, I asked where does individual presence end and collective responsibility begin?

18:35 21:30 Dr. Dominica McBride: And we were also talking about the women of color, like the permission that we need to give, right, ourselves as women of color to be changemakers. We can answer that as well. So the permission that We need, I think that we need a lot of permissions. We need to give ourselves a lot of permissions. But one is to use our voice, right? For me, that has been somewhat of a challenge in my life is speaking up for myself. I'm much better now than I used to be, but speaking up for myself, owning my own voice, allowing my thoughts to spill out. and influence, influence the room. And I'd say one thing is to allow or to value your voice, to value your voice, own your voice and let your voice sing, let your voice come out, be loud, be proud and honor, honor your authentic voice. And that's one thing in becoming change makers That in chapter three we talk about like, you know, the tapping into our authentic voice. An authentic voice is when like our mind meets our heart and comes out our throat, you know, comes out our mouth. And so for that authentic voice to spill out, to work on that, to cultivate that, to practice it, sometimes it might feel awkward, it might feel stilted, but to keep going and keep allowing your authentic voice to come out. So to be that change maker and to tap in from individual to that collective presence, right? To kind of straddle both the individual and collective, to tap in that we can influence each other. So allow yourself to be that influence and allow others to influence you, right? To tap in again to that interdependence that we were talking about earlier. And for, us to just own ourselves, you know, like not letting anybody else own us, not let the media own us. And when I'm own, I mean, take over our decision making, right? Like, you know, it's so easy to let the media take over our decisions about our beauty. right? Or take over our decisions about what kind of careers are okay or not, or what kind of dreams are okay or not. Like, not letting them own us, but us owning us. And us also owning our community, our collective movements, for us to make decisions together and move on that together.

21:33 23:03 Deneen L. Garrett: And so we talk about that a lot, right? It starts with you, any and everything. It's all about you, the decisions you make, what you do, the actions you take. And I'm glad that you did mention as far as the voice, right? Speaking up because that's why this podcast exists. for those may or may not know the history, but it started as a panel. And it was a panel to give LGBTQ plus women of color and allies a platform to use our voices, and then it evolved into what we are doing today, right? And open it up to women of color in general to have this platform to use our voices to empower others to do the same, to use their voices, to speak up, to say what's on your mind. Don't let something, you know, don't keep something in because you think externally they're going to perceive you a certain way. They're going to perceive you a certain way regardless. So you have to decide, well, what way do you want them to perceive you and stand in it? Now, if you want to show up as a certain way and they don't see you that way, that's not your issue. That's theirs. Right? As long as you are clear about who you are and who you want to be and how you show up, that's what's important and that's what's valid. So again, I'm glad that you brought that up. So you champion culturally responsive evaluation as a tool for positive change. For our audience, women who are building businesses, leading teams and serving communities, what is CRE and how does it change the way we measure impact?

23:03 25:23 Dr. Dominica McBride: Yeah, yeah. So I first learned about the field of evaluation when I was a junior in college. I had a mentor that was a community psychologist, and she asked me what I cared about. And I said, I care about addressing these big issues affecting our community, health disparities, education disparities, economic disparities and as thriving. So what really works in overcoming them and as thriving? And she said, oh, it sounds like you care about evaluation. And with that, that opened up this whole field. wow, there's a whole field that uses research to find out what is actually working, looking at the impact that our policies, our programs, our actions are having on others, on causes, on issues, on communities. And so first, evaluation is that, is that process of learning our impact. And when you make it culturally responsive, you make it so the community, especially communities that are hard hit by injustice, that they have that seat at the table, that their voice is guiding the evaluation, is influencing the direction, that the evaluation is actually looking at the impact for them and cultivating a direction where they are highlighted where they are central, where the impact is going to be positive for and with them. And then also it looks like the culture, it's not seeing the culture as noise, but culture as strength and leaning into culture as strength. And then also recognizing the broader sociopolitical environment and the impact that that has on our well-being and that the evaluation is considering what has happened in our environment politically, what has happened culturally, what's happening in our communities, and that that can affect the impact too, and that we need to strategize to also address those elements if we wanna get to the impact that we're striving for. So culturally responsive evaluation is really making sure that we're making actual impact with our communities.

25:24 25:44 Deneen L. Garrett: So when you're looking at the evaluations, right, is there like one thing that you can say is like a through point? Like this one thing happens in all these different communities, and or if we were to solve this one thing, then we wouldn't have as many issues. Is there like one thing that you can point to?

25:46 26:40 Dr. Dominica McBride: So I'm a little bit biased in this answer, because I'm a psychologist. So take it as you will, right? But I'd say the mind. The mind, mindset, right? Like how we think is also how we act, how we plan, how we move, right? So it starts with what we're thinking, how we're thinking, how we're thinking about ourselves. how we're thinking about each other, how we're thinking about the world around us. So I think the through line for our communities and making real genuine impact, it is the mindset, both the individual mindset and the collective mindset and influencing that. And there's a lot coming on around mental health. So when I say mindset, I'm not necessarily referring to mental illness, mental health, mental health issues. I'm referring to the way that we think

26:41 26:41 SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

26:42 26:55 Dr. Dominica McBride: And of course, mental health can impact that, that level of mental health can impact that. But regardless of that, it's how are we thinking about ourselves, how we're thinking about each other, how we're thinking about our community and the world around us.

26:55 27:37 Deneen L. Garrett: And so mindset is broad, right? So how do we narrow that though? Because if we were to try to say, okay, if you do this one thing, that will just solve so many things, right? And so mindset, that's broad. So can we narrow it down a bit? I agree with you, it's definitely a mindset. Everything, because again, what did we say? It starts with us. So you have to have the mindset, like, I want to do this thing. I'm going to do this thing. Here's what I'm going to do to accomplish this thing, right? So it's the mindset. But when we're talking more so like communities, and that's impacting so many different people, Like what specifically with the mindset? Like we all need to think or do what?

27:39 29:11 Dr. Dominica McBride: We need to think and do in ways that cultivate positive relationships. So many of the ways that we think as far as individualistically can get in the way of relationships and it can get in the way of moving together and then therefore get away of our collective power, right? Like us really taking leadership over our communities, over what we want to happen in our communities, with our communities. And so I say like the mindset and the action for relationship. And so how are we thinking about how we can be in healthy relationships, authentic relationships, positive supportive relationships, women with each other, men and women, men with men, like whatever, however you identify, but really coming together in genuine relationships. And that is not only going to influence us in ways where we can actually have collective power, actually move together, decide things together, create things together, and change our reality. But it will also make us happier human beings. There's all kinds of resources, the power of relationships on our bodies, on our minds, on our well-being, on the development of our children. So that's what I would say. It boils down to that.

29:11 30:00 Deneen L. Garrett: Yeah, and I'm definitely an advocate of that. I'm about building relationships. And I say that to me, it's about relationship building versus networking. To me, networking is transactional. It does service purpose. I do understand that. However, I am a type of person who more so leans into the relationship. Again, you're back. I'm saying because we had that relationship. And that's why we're back together. Is there like, if you could say, is there like one model organization, one model community that you say, you know what, they really have it right. Like they're doing the right things. And if more communities and organizations kind of follow their blueprint, things will go well. Is there one that comes to mind?

30:01 31:58 Dr. Dominica McBride: So no organization is perfect, right? Like we're people, right? Like nothing is perfect and that's okay, right? We're kind of like perfect in our imperfection, right? And like the imperfection of life is to be expected and is beautiful in many ways. So with that said, right, nothing and nobody is perfect, but there's an international community called re-evaluation counseling. It is probably the best model of community mental health that I've seen. It's books, trainings, group settings, facilitators, all who have this goal and direction around creating space for each other to let go, to release the stress, to release the tension, to solve our own problems, to move through trauma, to move through pain, right? And so they teach people how to kind of be lay therapists for each other in a way, but it's where each person is creating this space for the other person to let go, to cry if they need to, to yell if they need to, to dive into memories if they need to, to plan for the future if they need to. But creating these spaces where people can be their full selves and heal in real time, heal in real time together. And so they have it to where there's pairs that are doing it, where there's groups that are doing it, they have weekends, where people are coming together and structured to be there for each other in this way. It's international. Anybody can plug in. Anybody can grow in this community. It's really community owned and community led.

31:59 32:16 Deneen L. Garrett: And now are you finding across everything, right? So in your work in general, through evaluations, through your travel, et cetera, are you finding that more women are involved in these communities? It's like, you know, like 50-50, a mix, or not so much.

32:21 32:52 Dr. Dominica McBride: What I've seen is like more women tend to be involved in like anything that has to do with like helping community or healing or making progress in community. Like it's more heavily women who are part of that work, but men are there too, right? And non-binary people are there too. So, I mean, we're all in it, but as far as like the proportions are probably, leans more towards more women being a part of it and leaving.

32:53 33:01 Deneen L. Garrett: Any particular reason why, whether you know this factually or just your educated guess, right, based on being a psychologist?

33:02 34:34 Dr. Dominica McBride: My educated guess is that women are typically And I'm talking from a way that we're conditioned in this society, also ways. And of course, this is all on a spectrum, right? But the biochemical reality involved in the different elements of being in this body. But those things, both the conditioning, as well as chemistry, as well as the ways that we are taught by our families. All of this varies. There's so much variability in this that it's difficult to say just any one thing, one reason why, but typically you bring all those two things together you tend to have, and this is also in the research, you tend to lean more empathy, not always, right? We need to have more empathy in general, but research has brought up that there tends to be more empathic decision-making, empathic leadership with women leaders, things like that, more connection, relationality, but I mean, men have some like very interesting, amazing relationships as well. So it's very difficult to say like this versus versus that.

34:35 35:16 Deneen L. Garrett: And I ask the question because, again, you know, the podcast is centered on women, right? Women of color specifically. And so that's why I wanted to raise that question. And then also it lets us know that, you know what, some background as to why we may move a certain way and then also for us who are thinking like, should I do this? Should I do that? You know, questioning things. Absolutely we should. And here's why. Here are some of the reasons. So that's why I wanted to ask that question. So your work has taken you from Arizona to Chicago to Tanzania. What does community presence, collective authority look like across those different cultural contexts and what stays constant?

35:19 38:47 Dr. Dominica McBride: Hmm. each community that I've been in, whether it's like a community that is different communities within the same state, like different communities within Arizona, or different communities within Tanzania, different communities within Chicago, like, you know, every community is different. There's like such diversity everywhere you go. And even more diversity within groups than between groups. So that part is a bit difficult, but I can say like the United States versus Tanzania. And looking at some of the contrast, because what I experienced in Tanzania was that communities were more readily tapping into collective solutions. right? They were ready to be collective. They said, like, part of the solution is us taking care of each other. Part of the solution is community driving. Part of the solution is, like, neighbors coming and caring for each other physically, emotionally, mentally, right? Like, there was already more of a collective mindset there than there is here. There's more of an individualistic mindset here. So that individualistic makes it more difficult, right, to move together. Although, you know, there's a lot of that coming up even more. More and more people here, especially in our community, starting to move together, coming together more. I mean, we've seen it historically through the civil rights movement. We're seeing it here through the organizing that's happening. But that was one cultural difference, that individualistic versus collectivistic mindset in the two countries, which then influenced how people saw solutions on the ground and what came from the brainstorming or the strategizing to move forward. But a through line, regardless of how we've been conditioned in our mindset, whether we're born here or in other countries, a through line has been that as far as Black communities in my experience, especially in Auburn Gresham, has been altruism. the presence of altruism, the power of altruism. So one of the things that surprised me most in our interviews with over 150 people in Auburn Gresham specifically, was that when we asked people, what's your wildest dream? Or like, what's your wildest dream for yourself? Many people said that they wanted to help the community. They said, I want to open up a youth center. I want to open up a center for people dealing with addiction. If I had a magic wand, I'd give everybody a million dollars in the community so we could all thrive. Their dreams were about the community. And so that in Tanzania, people say, I want us to care for each other. It was very much about the upliftment of others and being a part of that. Breathing life into that.

38:48 39:35 Deneen L. Garrett: And that's, I mean, honestly, when I graduated high school, I with pursuing social work in college for those reasons. It had always been for me, it's always been about other people, like, what can I do for other people? And, and like, not understanding people who have money, like, why aren't you doing more for the community? Like, why aren't you helping more people out? Like, that's always been me. And now I'm getting into the point like, okay, well, you got to take care of you first, so that you're able to take care of other people. And that's something I think that with women, Black women in particular, we have to recognize that, right? Yes, it's fine to take care of other people. That's great, but not at the expense of yourself. You need to take care of yourself first so that you're better able and equipped to take care of the next person. Mm-hmm.

39:35 39:44 Dr. Dominica McBride: Self-care is so important. And our own healing is so important, because if we're not on our healing journey, then we're just going to replicate the conditions that we've been trained in. Exactly.

39:44 39:52 Deneen L. Garrett: Exactly. So what does a woman need, not just in her own life, but in the lives of the people around her, to step into her role as a changemaker?

39:56 40:53 Dr. Dominica McBride: So you know that saying, like, you can't pour from an empty cup? Mm-hmm. Yeah. One of my good colleagues said that you pour from your overflow like you know like you you want to fill your cup and then what you pour out is the overflow of that. So we need to have regular ways that we are releasing the stress and the pain that we carry and then filling ourselves up with whatever it is that gives us joy. right? Like filling yourself with the joy, with the affirmations, with the rest, with nature, with positive relationships, with love, right? Like, you know, releasing and then filling up and that people in our lives are also filling our cup.

40:53 40:54 SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

40:54 41:27 Dr. Dominica McBride: They're also pouring into us. They're pouring in the affirmations. They're pouring in the support. I just mentioned the group of women leaders that we just finished the cohort, and that's ongoing. But we were pouring into each other by listening. by affirmations, by presence, right? And so to have people in your life that are doing it on a regular basis is huge.

41:28 42:20 Deneen L. Garrett: Absolutely. It is absolutely huge. And you know what? It's so hard for us to do that for ourselves. I have a relationship counselor. And so she's like, OK, I need you to pick a day and a time and devote one to four hours to yourself. So it's on my calendar every Friday from 12 to 4 to do that. Now ask me, how often am I doing it? How often? Yeah, not. I absolutely know it. And the thing about it is like, you know, like I'll do things like I travel like that, that brings me joy. So I'm doing things that bring me joy, but I'm not necessarily having that designated time. Like, okay, every Friday between this time, you need to do something. That I'm not doing.

42:20 42:31 Dr. Dominica McBride: Yeah, but if you're doing things that bring you joy or respite, you know, like, that still counts. Like, if you're doing it on a regular basis.

42:31 43:52 Deneen L. Garrett: It does. I mean, it does. However, I think that we still need to have that, where that block of time. Like, you know, every week, At this time, you're going to do something for yourself, whatever those things are. And I do believe that we should have that. And so that's something, for me, I haven't been able to stick to on a regular basis. And I need to do better with that. And I'm sharing this with those that are watching, listening. Do the same. Just start with an hour maybe. Just find an hour maybe every week that you do something for yourself, whatever that is. Even if that means go sit in a park, go sit in your car somewhere, read a book, whatever. Do something for yourself, right? And it makes us better. Because now you know that overflow that you were talking about. I believe in that from your overflow. Yes, in a way you get to that overflow is to have that designated time for yourself and and in addition to everything else that you're doing. But that time because you know what you're honoring yourself when you do that. You're saying this is my time. This every Friday at 12. This is for me to do what I want to do period. And I feel like we need to do more of that. I definitely need to do that. So I need to honor myself with that.

43:53 44:42 Dr. Dominica McBride: Yeah. One of the things that helps me, because I'm the kind of person that's like do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. And I read, this was maybe two years ago, I read Rest as Resistance by Trisha Hersey. And one of the things that she says in there is like, just even take 10 minutes to rest. 10 minutes of closing your eyes, laying down, resting, and that little light was, that was it. That was like, oh, I can just lay down for 10 minutes. So that helped me to get to a point where I'm taking more time for myself. But I had to start with the little bits of time.

44:42 45:31 Deneen L. Garrett: So let's say 10 minutes instead of an hour. So those who are watching, challenge yourself. Do 10 minutes. Find that 10 minutes. Because you know what? It's resistance, and we resist it. But we have to start somewhere. And so if we need to train ourselves to start with 10, then increase it to 20, whatever we need to do, but we need to do that thing for ourself. Another thing it is, and we talked about this on a panel that I had did a few years ago, it's also a luxury for us to rest. Because if you think about it historically, Black women, what have we always done? Served others. And we were serving them when they were resting. You're right. That was why you had a lot of women who were doing, you know, maids and working in other people's homes because they were resting.

45:32 45:32 Dr. Dominica McBride: Yeah.

45:33 45:48 Deneen L. Garrett: But we did all of that labor. And so, yes, rest is resistance. It's restoration. It's a luxury that we deserve and we need to tap into it. So, all right, y'all, start with 10 minutes. Find 10 minutes, watch it all for yourself, and then increase it from there.

45:52 46:24 Dr. Dominica McBride: What helped me to change my mindset around that was thinking about it being necessary and it being a necessary part of the work. My mind is clear, my ideas are better, my heart is softer and more open to people if I'm resting, if I'm doing a daily meditation, if I'm exercising, like the self-care, the healing is a necessary part of being a change maker.

46:26 46:59 Deneen L. Garrett: Absolutely. So this is the final episode of the present series. And Dr. Dominica, you've given us the perfect clothes. Presence isn't just what you carry into a room is what you build in a community is what you leave behind. That's legacy. And so a mantra that we have on the show is you don't wait for permission. You become it. And when you become it, everything rises to meet you. That's the dream lifestyle standard. So Dr. D, what is one step a woman can take today to begin becoming the change maker her community needs?

47:01 47:02 SPEAKER_02: Rest.

47:05 47:16 Deneen L. Garrett: There it is, right? Yes, yes. All right, so I know that you mentioned that you have a fundraiser or something going on. talk to us about that.

47:17 48:38 Dr. Dominica McBride: Ye has a fundraiser. You can dot org. We all become do about it. We are raising healing work. We do the co bringing people together to create, to co-create the solutions that matter in our communities, and to make sure that they work for the long term, making the impact that they need to make for our communities to be well. Be well, to thrive, and for us to drive that and keep it going together. So donate at weallbecome.org. You can find out more about our work at Become Center. You can also follow me directly at becomingwithdrdominica. I have a text program, send out texts weekly that are just like affirmations, right? Some of what we talked about here, the rest that we need, the affirmation that we need, the guidance. So check that out. You can sign up for the text program there. But my email is right there, dmcbride at becomecenter.org if you want to reach out to me directly. But first and foremost, take care of yourself and donate to become.

48:40 49:32 Deneen L. Garrett: Thank you for that. And you know what? So here's something that I'll throw out as well. So when you sign up to get those texts, pause. Read the text and pause. Maybe take five minutes, breathe, meditate, be still, something. That's a way that we can start as well. Yes. Yes, thank you for that. You're welcome. All right, so Dr. Dominica McBride, thank you so much for trusting me to come back on Women of Color. It's been a pleasure. And shout out to the Leon Thomas group. We'll be back next Th

ursday, August 6 at 1 p.m. Eastern for the Legacy Series, Lead, Transform, Leave a Mark. And we're kicking it off with Isi Mimin Alade Jobi. CEO and founder of Fulfilled. See you next time.