Build the Table: A Legacy Series Conversation with Isimemen Aladejobi

00:00 02:05 Deneen L. Garrett:
What if the roadmap you needed never existed? Not because you weren't ready, but because you were meant to build it. Today, we open the Legacy Series, lead, transform, leave a mark by sitting with a woman who spent years searching for her table, decided to build it herself, and has helped hundreds of black women and women of color land dream roles, multiply their income, and finally live lives that feel like theirs. If you are ready to build a table that doesn't exist yet, you are in the right place. Let's go. Welcome to Women of Color Live, the live version of Women of Color, an intimate conversation, a top 20 women's empowerment podcast. We center and empower women of color. We also have a free newsletter built specifically for black women. 50 plus the Dream Lifestyle Collective Weekly Rhythm. Go to Denine L. Garrett to get started. Today's guest is Isi Meeman, Alaa Dejobi, CEO and founder of Fulfilled, a transformational coaching program for Black women and women of color, and a 2024 Aspen Ideas Festival Fellow. Through her signature program, her clients have landed multiple job offers, six-figure offers after years of unemployment, double promotions, and 100K salary increases. generating over 7 million in new salaries. So this month, August, we are in the Legacy Series, Lead, Transform, Leave a Mark. Today, we open it with a woman who built a table that didn't exist. Isi, welcome to Women of Color, an Intimate Conversation.

02:06 02:08 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: Thank you so much, Denise, for having me.

02:10 02:45 Deneen L. Garrett: It is my absolute pleasure. I am so looking forward to this conversation because we talk a lot about having seats at tables, getting in the door, you know, all the things, right? Being in the room. So this is perfect, especially for Legacy. So Isi, you shared that it took you years in the corporate world to find clarity on your purpose and that during those years, you had a knot in your stomach knowing you were meant for something else. Who were you during those years and what was the moment that finally broke it open? Wow.

02:46 03:15 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: Thank you for that question, Deneen. Who was I during those years? I was a curious young woman. I was a woman fighting to live out her God given purpose, even though she didn't know what that was. I was a woman who was frustrated because the lack of clarity is one of the most painful things in the entire world. And I was a woman that was just determined to do things differently. Could you give me the second part of your question?

03:16 03:23 Deneen L. Garrett: Yeah. So, well, actually, so it was, who were you doing those years? And then what was the moment that finally broke it open?

03:25 04:28 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: Man, I'll never forget when I was a sophomore in college, I believe, and I failed organic chemistry too. And this was a foundational class if you were going to become a doctor and get into med school. And my parents had put the dream of med school in me, but it wasn't my dream. And so many women are given dreams because this is what looks good. This is what sounds good. This is what everyone else is doing. This is what they said you should be doing. This is what will make your parents proud. And it just wasn't what I wanted. So when I filled that class, being a student who usually gets A's and B's and does well, I was like, oh my goodness, do I even have the wherewithal to push through to make this a reality. Because on this journey of life, we will always have challenges. But if our North Star is shining bright enough to call us forward, we will continue to go. But if that bad boy is dim, you're going to look down and say, I don't have it in me. I'm done. Why am I torturing myself? And so I had that moment of realization, like, I don't think this is it. And that's when my journey of transformation truly began.

04:29 04:54 Deneen L. Garrett: Yeah. And so one thing that you said was very key. you were living somebody else's dream. And then it took that class for you to realize, that's not what I want. I want something totally different. So a lot of our listeners, those who are watching, they can relate, right? Because we're global, right? So we have people all over. And what you're talking to is cultural. So that was a challenge that you had to overcome as well.

04:54 05:49 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I remember when I was changing my major, I did not tell my parents. I am from Nigeria. My dad wanted to be a doctor and had some health challenges that stopped that dream. So me being his first daughter, he taught me to read and do long multiplication when I was like three years old. He had me on a rigorous academic home program. It was crazy. And it was interesting because he had put the seed in me that I would become a doctor and nothing else was really able to grow. Because this tree of being a doctor was already planted, it had taken up space, it had multiplied. And I was in high school like, okay, what doctor makes the most money? Anesthesiologist. Yes, I'll be an anesthesiologist. And what was interesting was that that wasn't what I wanted, but that's what my father wanted. And when I was in college figuring things out, because I like to produce receipts. And I don't tell my parents I was changing my major. I wanted to have something to show for it.

05:49 05:49 SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

05:49 06:27 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: I remember taking my dad to McDonald's or, you know, we had just gone there and my parents unfortunately had gone through a divorce. So, you know, I was like mom and dad at different times. And I told him finally, Hey, I'm a business major. I got this incredible scholarship. I have an internship in Australia with the top four accounting firm. This is what I want to do. And he was disappointed. His disappointment wasn't heavy enough to deter me. I understood that he had to mourn the dream that was no longer coming to pass. And that was his work. And that was OK. But I knew I was the only one that was going to live my life. And I was surely not going to live a dream for somebody else.

06:28 06:55 Deneen L. Garrett: Oh, I love that. I love that early on, early enough, you realize that you have your own dream. But here's something though. So did your, did your dad ever like, wait a minute, I actually, the seeds that I planted did grow. They just grew differently. Right. Because at three, he had you on a rigorous program doing math, those things. And that's the business you were in. Absolutely.

06:55 07:41 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: And funny enough, He really set me up to be a top performer. And so in everything I do by God's grace, I do with excellence. I do with perseverance. I ask great questions. Like there are so many skills and there's such a sharpness about me. And I give God all the glory for that. And I know he instilled that in me. And years later, my daddy still don't know what I do to this day. He's like, I see you online. I see you on Facebook and I see your posts and you're so well written and you're so well spoken and you're going to go to great heights. And he's like, go ahead and get a PhD. I was like, daddy, I ain't getting no PhD. But he's so proud of me and he sees how I move in these rooms and he's just floored. So I did at the end of the day, make his dreams come true because I am successful again by God's grace in my own right.

07:42 07:42 Deneen L. Garrett: Right.

07:42 07:42 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: Right.

07:43 07:57 Deneen L. Garrett: I love that for you. Yes. All right. So when you looked around and realized no one was teaching purpose, career clarity, or income growth to women who look like us, what did you do with that? Was it a crisis, a calling or both?

07:58 10:07 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: Oh, it was absolutely both because the way I see it is I went to college and I'm switching my major and I'm starting to have these conversations. I'm starting to go to business events way more and you know, they're really trying to help us. lock in and understand this business world. And I come out of college with two job offers that I barely applied for. And I realized something when it was time for me to transition again, because I'm a girl that I stay awake. The issue a lot of people have is they get a job and they fall asleep. And they just let life happen to them. But one thing I've been graced to do is I stay alert, and I check in with myself. How am I feeling? How does this job feel in my body? What is it producing in me? When I started to get those Sunday night scaries and knots in my stomach, I said, you know what? It's time to go. And so funny enough, in that season, I had looked back and said, what did I do in college that pretty much got me two incredible roles? And I was like, wait. Who's teaching black women how to look at their life's work, figure out what they really wanted. Because at that time I was transitioning and I had taught for a couple of years, but I was really excited about growth strategy, business growth. I had taught myself digital marketing and I realized that these are the things I really loved, but no one took me through a step-by-step process to pull that out of me. Right. And that's when I said, you know what, this was the era of a ton of empowerment branches. And I felt like black women were being invited to empowerment branches, but they weren't being told how to really, truly get the thing. They weren't given the roadmap, the step-by-step strategy. And I wanted that done for them. And so I said, you know what, I'm going to create events that give real strategy. Empowerment is extremely important, but once you're empowered, you don't have to be equipped. And so I wanted to start equipping our women. And so I got my first client, funny enough, grad school. She had finished grad school, thought that was the way. And you know us, Black women, we love a degree. I could not get a job. And I was like, you know what? Let me walk you through my process that I've been kind of noodling on. And I reverse engineered my success. Boom, she gets a job. And then a couple of months later, boom, she gets a $15,000 salary increase. And that's when Fulfilled Everything started.

10:09 11:17 Deneen L. Garrett: So I love that you said you stayed awake. Yeah. So dreaming while awake. Now, that's something. I love that. And we have to do that, right? And I think that's how we dream. And then we talk about faith without works is dead. Same type of thing. You're dreaming, and you're just expecting it to just happen. But you're not always making the moves, doing the things to make it happen. Connecting with a coach such as yourself and getting fulfilled, getting that framework, and getting the tools and equipment so that we can be empowered. That's it. And I'm still stuck on this, which I love, love, love this, that you got this clarity. You got this revelation so early in life, right? Because here I am, I talked, you know, I mentioned how, you know, have, you know, space for black women, 50 and up just now figuring these things out early. And I'm what, what was it though? You know what I'm saying? You felt that. Okay. Could you say God?

11:19 15:34 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: Oh yeah, well, I'm a Jesus girl really bad. I know everyone has different places they're at, but Jesus was a pivotal part of my journey, and I'll share. And I believe, and so I have an entire framework, and I'm going to actually begin to speak deeply about this concept of becoming an identity. The foundation of everything, you have to know God. You have to know the one who created you. You have to go to him for the blueprint. So knowing God, I got saved when I was 16. And anything I do, I like to do really well, including walking with the Lord. So I was like, if I'm going to do this Jesus thing, I'm going to do it all the way through. And indeed, that's what I did. And I got really planted in church. I began to serve shortly after I went to college. I was part of an incredible campus ministry, Bethel Campus Fellowship, which I'm still a part of now. And so I, from an early age, was Opening my eyes that there's more for me that there's a calling on my life I began to say I don't want to live plan B of my life. I don't plan a Meaning I want the version of my life that God has ordained for me, not the one that he's going to have to give me because I decided to walk on my own because God is merciful. You know, if you just want to do it your own way, he's so kind, but there's a whole other life that you could have lived if you said yes to him and you decided to do the work. So because I had planted that seed of, I have to live the life that I'm called to live. something in me would not rest. And so it's almost like the Holy Spirit revealed to me, hey, you're not happy, wake up. And you know, a lot of times we focus on failure way too much. Failure is actually a gift. Failure is a gift. And if you're smart enough, you will glean the lesson so that you don't continue to fail. Because God is so good that he will let you not make it in a certain place so that you can turn. When I failed that class, and believe me, I prayed and hoped. And I'm like, oh, Jesus, you're so good. I know you're going to help me with this organic. The way I failed that class, oh my gosh, I failed it like a pro. It was crazy. But if I had not failed that class, I would have been so hardheaded. that would have kept going for this doctor thing. But the failure helped me to sit down. Failure is redirection. It helped me to sit down and say, do I really want this? Am I really called to this? And because I'd already planted the seed of, I refuse to live the plan B in my life, then I opened up, right? Because God is a gentleman. The Holy Spirit is a gentleman. He's not going to force his will on you. If you refuse to take his will, if you refuse to open your eyes, if you refuse to seek clarity, he will just, you know, love you from where he's at. But I believe because I had planted that seed of, okay, God, I want your will. I want your will. Now he was able to kind of breathe on me and start speaking to me and hold my hand. And the markets were crashing at that time. And I started reading about it. And then I got exposed to another book. Then I started talking to one of my friends about it. And God just orchestrated so many things. And what I actually did that was pivotal. And I always tell people it's not too late. As long as you have a pulse, as long as you have breath in your lungs, you can get on track and live the life that God has called you to live. And he's a redeemer of time. And so in college, I started to get this thing in my head. I want to do business. Mind you, I failed a class, my GPA tanked, and I had to apply to the business school and still do an extra year. So I spent five years in undergrad. The summer before my junior year, I believe, which was the year I needed to now use to apply and get my grades up, I spent the whole summer praying and fasting, basically. My mama called the pastor. She's like, she's not eating. doing the most. But I was like, God, if you're real, which I know you are, I know you will lead me. I know you will direct me. I need to know the next step. I call this fancy internship I had at a hospital. I said, I ain't coming. I'm not living a lie. I'm not going to pretend just to make people feel good or make myself feel good. I don't want to do this. And that's all right. And so I sought truth. And so I just truly believe there's always been that thing in me to like, Go after truth. It's one of the mantras of my life. The Bible verse, you will know, you will know the truth and the truth will set you free, man. So many of us are living in lies and we just need to cut it out and wake up. So I can talk about this all day as you can see, but girl, I'm like over here like, okay, amen.

15:34 20:31 Deneen L. Garrett: Hallelujah. All the things. Yes. And so I think I'm so really, you know, I'm loving that you did this so early, that you tapped into it so early, because again, so many women don't. And like for me, I retired from corporate. I retired early. I said, I want to start empowering women to live their dream lives and to live them now. Don't wait until you retire. Do it now. Find out what brings you joy, what gives you joy, that thing that just lights you up. Start doing that now, right? I'm talking about women who are 50 plus. I don't want them, you know, right? Because that's where I'm at. And I want women who are younger, who are, I want them to tap into what brings them joy from the beginning, right? So that they don't get 50 and try to figure it out. What you're doing. Woo. Okay. So wait, I need y'all that are watching tap in, drop something in the comments. Let us know you're out there. Um, this is some good stuff here. So if y'all didn't know, I didn't know he was going to church today, but that's where we landed. And then what you were talking about, Oren and I talked about this a few weeks ago. Um, he and I, uh, got on the camera and, you know, talking about how, We plan things and God laughs at our plans, right? And so that's what you've been talking about as well, right? Making those plans. Oh, I love it. I love it. Okay. So your clients are landing $100,000 salary increases and over 7 million in new salaries collectively. What are they doing that most women aren't willing to do? Okay. You know what? So I'm going to stop there and let you get, as a matter of fact, we're going to do is we're going to go to break. Then we're going to come back. I've been doing this work for a while, building credentialing, showing up week after week for women of color. And more recently for black women, 50 plus who deserve a seat at every table in every room. and I want you to know the rooms are getting bigger. This year, I walked into the Black Enterprise Women of Power Summit as credentialed press. I was accepted as press in the room at the Milliken Institute Global Conference, one of the most prestigious gatherings of global leaders on the planet. I was also honored as a Leadership in Action honoree at Career Master and I finished in the top five in my category in the National Entrepreneur of Impact competition. And I'm not waiting for permission to be in the room. I'm building my way into every one of them. And the credential press at the marquee cultural events of 2026, bringing those conversations directly back to you across my social channels. And if you're a black woman over 50 who was done settling for the life you thought you were supposed to have, who was ready to dream boldly, decide intentionally, and drive your vision, there's a community built specifically for you. The Dream Lifestyle Collective, where we don't just talk about the dream, we live it. All right, so here's how you can be part of what's building. Watch and subscribe on YouTube, where we have new conversations every Thursday, listen and subscribe to the Top 20 Women's Empowerment Podcast, Women of Color in Intimate Conversation. And if you're ready to join our community, come inside the Dream Lifestyle Collective. And if you're a brand and you're ready to be in a room where women of color conversations happen, and more specifically, where black women 50 plus gather, become a sponsor. Welcome back to Women of Color Live. Today, we're talking about building a table that didn't exist, and the legacy you leave when you do, with EC Meeman, a la De Jovi. And we were about to really get into it, because we've been on a roll, like this whole conversation. We done went to church. We're probably still going to stay in church for a little while. What we not going to do is pass the basket, so y'all good on that. So what I would ask, and it's several parts to this one question, but I'm going to break it down and let her go ahead and give us what she has for us. But so what I had asked is, your clients are landing $100,000 salary increases in over 7 million in new salaries collectively. What are they doing that most women are not willing to do? Excellent question.

20:32 25:11 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: I love this question. What are my clients willing to do? What are we doing so differently that is causing us to have such incredible wins and increases and transformations? They're doing the inner work. We do deep inner work and fulfilled. We don't even touch. Don't even show me your resume. I don't care. I don't want to see it. We don't touch that until you become the woman that can steward and hold the role that you are looking to lay hold of. The reason why you're not leveling up is because you're not her yet. And so we work on mindset. There are so many things that women believe on a subconscious level that have been planted there by teachers, friends, bullies, haters, whoever, the world, systems, racism, feminisms, isms, isms, all sexism, whatever, right? Which we know they exist, but there are women who are winning. So it is possible. So what we do is we excavate, we figure out, we reflect. What do you actually believe about yourself? Because many people are saying, oh, I want a six-figure role. Oh, I want freedom. But they don't believe they can have it. So your mind and your subconscious rises to What you really believe in here, your conscious rises to the level of your subconscious. So in your mind, you truly don't believe you can, whether you believe you can or you believe you can't, you are correct. So we excavate, we pull out those weeds, and people are recognizing, they're stopping in our program, like, I didn't know that, I didn't believe in myself. I thought I was that girl, because we have a lot of leaders. We have a lot of A players, a lot of incredible women that come into our room because they can take the K ball and finally say, you know, I'm tired, I missed the line, I'm over it. And they're like, I did not realize that I actually had these limiting beliefs. I thought, I thought, I thought, no, this is what you actually believe, which is why you're struggling. So we get really clear on mindset. We get deep in there and then we get really clear on gifts, calling, strength, what you do better than anybody else, putting words to your value. So when you meet someone, you blow them away. You know, you know, when someone is confident and they're just radiating confidence, you just want whatever they're buying. You want to hire them. Hey, I don't even know if I have a role yet, but I need whatever you got. I just want you, your brand, your brilliance. And that's what we're trying to pull out of the women. And the thing that makes us different is we are not saviors. We are midwives. We are career fairy godmothers. There's gold in you. That is what I believe. That's what God has taught me. He has put gold and purpose and calling in every single person. I'm just here to move the dirt, because life has happened. You've gotten some bumps and bruises, so now you've piled a bunch of dirt on the gold that God has put in you. You believed all these stories. You might have gotten laid off once or twice, and now you believe your nonsense. Your gold keeps getting buried deeper and deeper. Our work is to bring it to the surface, clean it up, and then give you language so now you can go out there and begin to speak. The other thing we do is we help people get insanely clear. And I put together all the strides, I reverse engineered through the power of the Holy spirit. And I created this proprietary process called joyful job. So golden triangle is my first proprietary process, helping people get clear on their gifts or talents or strengths. And then we do joyful job where you. We teach you how to discover roles. You did not know existed at companies. You did not know hiring, making money. You did not know what's possible. And that's where the party really gets started. Cause people are like, oh my gosh, I didn't know I could live at the intersection of this and this and all these gifts you buried, you start to bring it up and you're like, oh my gosh, I do have a ton of value. Oh my gosh. I didn't know. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. And from there, I mean, we're off to the races and then we start networking from a place of power and conviction and confidence. And then when people speak to us, they're like, There's something about you or have a friend that, oh my gosh, I have so many stories to me. A girl was in it for me for a role and she decided the role was not good enough for her. Even though it was a great role. I mean, we have women in fulfilled, they turn down jobs all the time and she decided it was not for her. The lady said, you know what? You're so great. I have a friend at another company that needs someone. And so what had happened actually was a friend messaged her like, Hey, I'm looking for someone with this role. And they're like, this girl turned us down. She might not turn y'all down. She's phenomenal. Do you know she got a job at the other company? So the hiring manager who my client rejected when her hiring manager friend said, Hey, I'm looking for someone. She said, Hey, this girl rejected us. She might give you a chance. She's phenomenal. That's the level of confidence and transformation I'm talking about. So, and then we do resume and all that stuff after we built you up. You do what? We do the resume, the LinkedIn. Once you're built up and you, and you're like, boom, now we take that energy and apply it to your resume and LinkedIn.

25:12 25:15 Deneen L. Garrett: Okay. So another, Jim, you're not her yet.

25:15 25:15 SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

25:16 25:17 Deneen L. Garrett: We need to get to her.

25:18 25:18 SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

25:19 25:55 Deneen L. Garrett: That's where that deep work goes. The hurt. I love that. Listen, you've dropped so many different gems. And what you're talking about, too, is what we've talked about before as the fear is of the success sometimes. It's not the fear of failure. It's not the fear of, it's the fear of being successful, right? Because some of us don't feel like, oh, I don't deserve that. I don't know what that looks like. I don't know what changes I'm going to have to make when I get to that particular level. So you're breaking all that down, helping her to become her. How do you know, how do you know when she's gotten there?

25:56 26:22 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: Ooh, you see it. The woman that comes into the program, She hits a week, like maybe with two, three, four, the glow in her eyes, the way she talks about herself, the kind of roles she's now looking at are different because her, the future version of her is the one looking at those roles. See, the issue a lot of people have is your old version is what's job searching.

26:22 26:23 Deneen L. Garrett: Yeah.

26:23 27:06 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: Your scared version is what's job searching. Your misaligned version that hasn't discovered her gifts, her talents, her strengths, her calling, that's who's searching. So of course, when you look at these roles, you're not happy. Of course, when you go to the interview, you don't do well because there's a complete misalignment. You're not aligned. So our women, we start to see when the alignment comes in, we start to see they will have informational interviews, which we deeply encourage. And they'll come back and say in the informational interview, the person was like, you asked great questions. Oh my gosh, I love your aura. I love the things you're saying right now. Oh my gosh, I know someone I can introduce you to. Okay, let me introduce you to three other people. So right, so there's an outcome that happens when you begin to step into her.

27:07 28:42 Deneen L. Garrett: Listen, and I'm going to tell you, you are speaking my language right now because you are talking about me. Prior to retiring, I said, OK, God, I don't want a job. I'm done with this corporate thing. I want to do this. I want to do X, Y, Z. I said, I don't want a job. The only time I want to get up early in the morning is for a flight and maybe for a doctor's appointment. So I said that. Then what do I do? Oh, I start applying for different jobs. I'm applying, applying, applying, applying just because I'm like, Oh, I felt like I didn't reach a certain level. So I'm going to chase that level. Right. So I'm applying, not necessarily getting any calls back. Maybe even had, you know, interview with the top people, blah, blah, blah, but no offers. And it's because of what you just said, misalignment. How you going to tell God that you don't want to do something and then turn around and chase after that thing? Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah. No, because there's something bigger, better, brighter for you. That is an alignment with your gifts. You talked about gifts. You're supposed to do that thing. You're supposed to grow that thing. And now I'm stepping into that thing. But all that other stuff, it was like a vanity type thing. It was like, because I didn't reach that role. Well, let me try, try to chase this road. No, I didn't want to get up to be at nobody's job and going in an office. No, but I, but I was doing it anyway and it didn't happen for me because it wasn't supposed to.

28:45 28:56 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: There you go. And the thing is, if you change your mind, that's okay. Change it with your whole body. But the misalignment of you say one thing and you do another thing or you want one thing and then you do another thing, it's not going to work.

28:56 29:45 Deneen L. Garrett: Yep. And that's exactly what I was. I didn't change my mind. I didn't. It didn't I didn't change my mind because I still apply and i'm like I don't want to get up, why am I doing this. But I was just doing it anyway, because I felt like something was unfinished. Yeah. And it's OK. Like you said, you can change your mind. Yes, it's OK that that thing wasn't unfinished, because there's bigger, better, and brighter for you when you're in it, when you get to her, when you take the time to figure out who she is, what she's supposed to have, what she's been created and designed for. Yeah, that's it girl. Okay. So for the woman watching or listening who feels stuck? Undervalued and like the road map doesn't exist for her What do you want her to know?

29:51 31:06 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: Hmm so many things One the first thing is I want her to know that God has a plan for her Because if she doesn't believe that there's better for her then there's no reason for her to get up and fight So it starts with knowing. And how do you know you get in the word of God? What are God's promises? Even Jeremiah 29, 11, for I know the plans I have towards you, right? Plans of good and not evil plans to prosper you and give you a good future. That's for you. So if your life doesn't look like that, right? And there's misalignment and you have to know the one who created you says, Hey, get up, wash your face. There's more. Would you trust me again? Once you know, now you've got to start doing the work. I would say you have to ask yourself some real honest questions. Ownership. Where have I dropped the ball? Where have I been a zombie? Where have I just been asleep? It's easy to blame everyone. Oh, they let me go. Oh, they did this. But if it's everyone's fault, that means you don't have any power to do anything about it. It means the power is in everybody else's hands. But if we can look inward and say, you know what, this is where I dropped the ball. This is where I was asleep at the wheel. This is where I knew it was time to shift and I was just scared. This is where I pretended to be something that I didn't really want to be or do something I really didn't want to do. And it's led me here. I've made choices that have led me here.

31:08 31:08 SPEAKER_02: Yes.

31:09 32:17 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: Once you have that, that ownership, Now, third piece, we could do something about it. Third piece is, well, what do I want? Well, I'm not sure what I want. OK, what do I want life to look like? What do I want to feel like? What do I want to be doing in the world? What do I know? OK, I don't know everything. What do I know? I know this da-da-da. Then the next piece is, now I want some help. Who can help me bridge this gap? I believe in working with coaches. I have invested a quarter of a million dollars in my own personal development. I don't ask my clients to do what I haven't done first. And so I have mentored my pastor's wife. I have paid coaches. I have a whole slew of people that are making sure this engine is moving and I'm going in the right direction. But coaching and investing with people who have gone before me, who have the roadmap, who have the blueprint, has been one of the best investments ever. And some people, you might start with a book because you make $10 an hour. $20 an hour and you just don't have anything to give and invest. You start with a book. You start with YouTube and you actually implement, but then you got to keep going higher because when you invest at a higher level, you take higher level. Um, you implement at a higher level.

32:17 32:17 Deneen L. Garrett: Yeah.

32:17 32:38 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: I've seen that over and over. Right. But you can start wherever you are. But after you've done all that, it's time to get some help to bridge the gap. Stop wasting time, especially if you're, um, you know, on the older side, maybe in the 50s, 60s, 70s. Listen, don't just, Oh, I'll just figure this out on my own. You haven't been able to, that's why you're where you are. Get help. Get help. We can't get time back.

32:38 34:43 Deneen L. Garrett: Yeah. So a couple of weeks ago, um, My guest, Danielle Desiree Corbett is actually, she did that, right? So podcasting. I started, I launched my podcast in 2020, was just doing the thing, was following Danielle because she at the time ran Women of Color Podcasters, a huge community for women of color in podcasting. And, you know, a few years later, I'm like, you know what, I'm ready to take things to the next level. I need help. And Danielle is who I sought, right? And so working with her, things, you know, took off, they went to the next level, et cetera, and have been growing since then. So absolutely, you need help. You can do things alone. It's going to take longer. Most of the time, it's going to take longer. You're going to do some things that, had you gotten that help, you didn't need to do. You wasted some time. And you know, sometimes you just spin in your wheel. So absolutely invest in yours. That's what you're doing. You're investing in yourself. You're absolutely whatever this amount is to get to that level that you want to get to. And once you get there, you're really like, wow, that was really nothing like that really was a drop in a bucket compared to where I am now. Yeah. So when you look across the board at your, your clients, and if you can say, Like maybe, um, if they've done these one, two or three things years ago, right. And, and not just as an individual, but maybe even collectively, what potentially are those one to two, one, two, three things like taking a knowledge you have again, based off of your experience and the ones that you've worked with, if you were to, institute something today so that we wouldn't have to go through these things. Yeah. What could those one, two, three things be? Like as black women, what are these one, two, three things that we should be doing going forward? Man, that's a loaded question.

34:43 38:00 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: No, no, it's okay. Um, because I'm a broken record. It's three things that come up for me is identity. Many of us do not know who we are. shapeshift to fit narratives. We shapeshift to fit our friends. We shapeshift to fit what's trending, what's hot, what people are saying on social media. You have to have a strong sense of self, which as you and I both know, you get that sense of self from the one who created you. So I would say one, a deep and rich relationship with Christ is a cheat code for life because everything he says is to make you better. Even if it feels Um, you know, there's a verse about discipline feels. Uncomfortable, but it's for your good. Everything he does and calls us to is for our good. And I know it's challenging. I mean, it kicks my butt being a believer, the obedience and trying to listen. I'm like, I don't want to do it. I'm scared. But one, if you can get your relationship with God rich and deep and reprogram your brain for truth. So that identity and truth, a hundred percent. something people need to really lean into. Deep relationship with the Lord makes with that identity and truth. The second piece is stop lying to yourself. We lie so much. about what we want, where there's so much shame around what we really want, what we're really good at, what we really enjoy. All this dumbing down your gifts. Yeah, you're incredible at speaking. You're incredible at leading. You're incredible at communicating. You're incredible with numbers. And you're just like, yeah, because people aren't celebrating you, or because you got a bad review that one time, or because an eighth grade student made fun of you, the way you spoke, and you're carrying that. You've completely destroyed and put down your gifts. The second thing is, please put some respect on your own name. Please put some respect on your own name. Stop lying to yourself. Get honest about what you want so that you can stop living a life you hate. Denine, do you know how many successful black women do not enjoy their lives, are not happy, are not fulfilled? They come to me. High earners, everything looks good on the outside. They got the man, they got the kids, they got the car, they got the this, but they're not happy because they're living somebody else's life. So the second thing is put some respect on your name and be honest with yourself about what you want. The third thing is getting a community with action takers, whether it's a coach, whether it's a girlfriend who will give you feedback and stop letting you do this crap that you like to do and stops enabling you. Someone who loves you but holds you accountable. You said you wanted to get healthy. You said you wanted to get a new role. You said you wanted to be a better mom. Okay, sis, where's the receipts? What's T? What are we doing? So those three things, knowing Christ at a deeper level and letting him transform your mind and your identity, And then second, putting some respect on your own name and being done with the lies that you are living by. And third, getting in community and getting accountable to someone who is fiercely protective of you and wanting you to do well, whether it's a coach, whether it's a peer, whether it's a whoever. Those are the three things that I feel like if people knew and didn't implement it, man.

38:02 39:17 Deneen L. Garrett: So that first one is you. Everything is about you, right? We've been talking about that the whole time. It starts with you. The second thing is like Niecy Nash said on whichever award show, I'm thinking my damn self, right? Like you said, we got to thank ourselves. We got to put that respect on our name. It's not just about, and I love that you pointed this out, it's not just about being in community, but being in community with action takers. Being in community with people who are doing the things that you want to do, the people who are, yeah, I'm going to go ahead and make, who are making moves, who are doing and going and being where it is that you want to get to. as opposed to being in community. Yeah, that's important. OK, so, you know, in the beginning, you know, I talked about this. This is our legacy series. We talk about being at that table, being in a room. Let's kind of talk about that. So the women that you're working with, some of them, like you said, they've already been in rooms, been at the table, but they are wanting to go to bigger tables, bigger rooms. Would you say that's true? Absolutely. Yeah. And so that you're putting in that work for them to be in those rooms. Are they also bringing other people along?

39:18 41:37 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: Good question. What I'm seeing is they're bringing their families along. Like when a woman heals, the family heals. When a woman knows who she is and when a woman does this work, I mean, I speak to so many women and I'm asking them why and why are they wanting to do this work and why are they wanting to transform? And what I hear the most is I want to live out my potential and I want to be a different person for my children and for my family and for those around me. You know, black women, we love and women of color, we love our people so deeply. So what I find is they're bringing their families along and they're allowing their transformation to bleed into every area of their lives. So not just I'm great at work and I've become her at work, but now I'm becoming her in my marriage. I'm becoming her with my children as a mother, I'm becoming her as a sister. So people are now experiencing a more healed, a more powerful and more confident, a more honest version of her. And now we're talking about generational healing. Now we're talking about generational transformation, because now when your child comes to you and says they want to do X, Y, Z, instead of you talking to them from that lack mindset, or you might talk a big game like, yeah, you can do anything, but they see how you move. They see that you're miserable every Monday. They see how you talk about work. They see that you're breaking down in your body, your mental health. So you're saying one thing again and doing another, right? Kids, they repeat what you do, not what you say. So when that transformation happens, the whole house is lifted. And now we're raising a generation of children who honor themselves, who big up themselves, who dream bigger, who dream better, who dream with more honesty. Now these women have the words to parent from a healed and holy place. It's remarkable, which is why I say my work, the job part, is not the part that excites me the most. And people are always surprised. It's the least of it for me. Oh, I doubled my salary. Excellent. I got a new job. Cool. What I really care about is you becoming. Because once you become the woman, the opportunities are endless. It's the jobs. It's the panel. We have women breaking into consulting. You're making money. Now you're making more money for your family. Now your kid is able to do this. And now your kid has a sharper mom. It's just the things that money cannot buy is what she becomes. That's what I'm after. And then everything else just comes after that. So that's how she brings others along.

41:38 42:31 Deneen L. Garrett: Becoming fulfilled. And I do love that you mentioned when she becomes her. it spills over into every aspect of her life. Cause sometimes, sometimes when we go, you know, when we improve in one area, we actually just improve in that area. And the rest is still a hot mess. So I love that the work that you're doing, the women are becoming fulfilled that they're that fulfillment and them becoming themselves. spills over into every aspect of their life. And as far as that generational, that's what we're talking about as far as legacy. So I absolutely love this. All right. So you didn't wait for the roadmap. You became it, you created, you built it for the woman watching who keeps telling herself she's not ready yet. What is the one action she needs to take today to stop waiting and start building?

42:37 42:52 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: She needs to sit down and write down what waiting and being misaligned has cost her thus far and what it will continue to cost her if she stays this way. If that don't wake her up, I don't know what will.

42:54 43:14 Deneen L. Garrett: What does it cost you? All right. So we, so our mantra here is you don't wait for the table to be built for you. You build it. And then you pull up chairs for every woman who comes after you. That's the dream lifestyle standard. So EC, before we wrap, what would you like to leave those watching or listening with?

43:20 43:51 Isimemen "Isi" Aladejobi: You are capable of so much more than you have been able to accomplish this far. When you finally get out of your way, when you finally key in to your creator and what he says about you, and when you finally start taking strategic action, because not all action gets you where you need to go, strategic and real action, you will accomplish things in this life that you did not know you were capable of. But it starts with you.

43:51 44:42 Deneen L. Garrett: Yes, love, love, love that. So EC Memen, ala de Jovi, thank you for bringing your full self, your story, your purpose in a table you built to Women of Color Live today. Girl, thank you for taking us to church. This is exactly how we open a legacy series. Enormous thank you to the Leon Thomas Group and Orange Story Senior in particular for holding it down behind the scenes every single Thursday. This show runs because of you. So share this with a woman who is still waiting for someone to build her a seat, tell her to build the table. And next Thursday, August 13, we continue the legacy series with Trudy Morrison, author, telling the unfiltered truth about race, gender, and political power in America. You don't want to miss it. Bye.